Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:55pm
"I don't think it matters who watches the kids while they're on play dates or playing in the next room." I sure as heck do. You want to miss that? Go ahead. Just as you think you're stacking the deck in your child's favor by making more $, and you may be, who knows, I'm stacking my child's deck in his favor by being as involved as possible, and that includes the kinds of things you apparently scorn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:59pm
Nothing, I think you read this out of context of the thread. If Cyndi is going to subtract time a child spends playing alone from a SAH's "time" she has to subtract it from her own, too.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 10:33pm
No, we know that one positive *SOMETIMES* attached to WOH is increased family income.

<>

Well, *I* think that if the extra income isn't needed, the stress that might be avoided by not working is certainly a positive for some SAHMs.

<> No ability lacking, sometimes their income is just not necessary or wouldn't be worth the amount of take-home pay they'd get after putting their kids in daycare all day or hiring a nanny.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 10:44pm
Maybe someday you can pay someone to go to WORK for you, too. lol
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 10:46pm
Thank you. nt
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 11:02pm
So if less stress isn't a benefit to your kids, then more stress shouldn't affect them either, right? So if you quit work and had less money for their "things," it shouldn't matter, right? Or is money for kids to do things more important than having a happy mother whose not stressed out?
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 11:14pm
I think the better question is "What would happen to YOUR kids if you stayed at home." Two scenarios for you to speculate on here:

You SAH when they were young and then went back to work full time. What would happen to them? (Careful with this one, because I think it's your actual situation, right?)

You were a career SAHM -- from birth to 18. What would happen to them? Mind you, we're not talking about YOU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 11:35pm
I agree, besides, "studies" and "research" are only a broad view of a subject. My daughter's father has a degree in statistics and I have learned from him that statistics only account for a percentage of a percentage. So if studies were done on 10,000 families with sah moms...and group A had blonde haired blue eyed mothers voted one way and group B had brown haired brown eyed mother's who voted another way that would NOT mean that ALL Blonde haired Blue eyed mother's would concur on an issue...it simply means that THOSE Blonde haired Blue eyed mother's who PARTICPATED in the poll voted that way. So in reality the studies and the statistics are pretty lame proof of anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:20am
I guess G. James Sammarco, Dr. Amis who is a specialist in ankles and does pro football teams feet not a podiatrist mind you is totally wrong I will have to print that off and give it to them next time I see them they will get a good laugh at of you. the orthopedic surgeon is a big dummy then cause he told me the ligament is considered bone spurs and that it either stretches too much or tears and surgery is last resort and 90% of the cases there is still pain. Handed me a walking cast to wear to sleep in then handed me not 1 but 10 different brochures, gave me physical therapy and used water therapy and told me to soak it that they could surgerically discconect that band and there would be other complications but I guess being a well known teaching doctor in orthopedics compared to your guy hey what do they know and all the magazines and stuff they wasted their time.



My medical degree. I studied nursing and shifted into law. How do I know about orthopedics well from the time I was 15years old I have dealt with ankle and foot problems and I only have went to orthopedic surgeons and as I grew older my interest was in medical law :) But far be it from me and the copy of the heel spur and little metatarsal ligment to comment.

Maybe you should ask your PODIATRIST which doesn't study as long as maybe one of those doctor's fellows if he knows about that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:25am
I wouldn't worry about being a burden to my children if I were you. I am sure they know you love them and would do anything for them the only person who is worrying about that is Cyndu cause she knows how she is treating her kids is going to come back and kick her in the butt and she will have to support her own retirement and old age.

I have two older parents and I wouldn't dream of every turning them out and they are definitely not a burden and I also with my siblings took care of our biological parents as well and not a burden. They took care of us and we love them and when you love someone it doesn't matter you love them and will take care of them.

So Ms. Cyndu doesn't have that being so hard nosed.

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