Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:18pm
Eileen, she's just not worth your time and effort. Chalk it up to her loss for her complete lack of compassion or understanding.

You're a great mom, a great wife and teacher. I hope you and your DH get through this. You deserve nothing but peace and happiness. Let this go. She's just showing her true colors. And she put's "God first." Too bad she doesn't really.

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:22pm
So you see no benefit to kids to thier parents living longer? That's just ridiculous.

I am not talking strictly about stress causing unhappiness. Stress is linked to other disorders, most of them the type of disorders over which people do NOT have control. Stress has been linked to cardiac issues and gastrointestinal issues, among other medical issues. Many of these problems have been directly linked to stress (not just money stress, all stress). For the most part people do not control whether stress gives them heart disease or colitis.

If a parent drops dead at an early age my kids will be affected. I was fairly young when I had my first child (28). If dh or I drop dead at age 50 my kids will be 16, 19, 21 years old. I would think that if you asked most 16 year olds if a dead parent would affect them they would answer yes. Even if it doesn't kill people, it can make them sick. A sick parent can cause all kinds of disruptions to a family.

Stress affects people in ways other than just making them unhappy. I don't see stress as a SAH/WOH issue except where the parent's work status, or job is the cause of the stress.

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:25pm
But you are seeing stress as causing only mental illness. And I contend that the problem is bigger than just mental illness.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:35pm
why not their dads?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:41pm
If your #1 priority in your life was God, this post would not even exist. I dont appreciate you using God as your shield when posting your shallow, ignorant, stupid, clueless posts!!!

I feel very sorry for your child, as you have no clue as to how to create a healthy environment for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:49pm
Oh, Eileen. i didnt even finish reading your post, as i dont feel you need to explain yourself to such a d!psh!t. My answer to her would be, as Dr Phil once said, "Lady you wouldnt be anymore stupid if we cut your head off!". this is about what sums up my answer to her. H@ll, eileen, she cant even figure out how to start and end a sentence!!! i would put her on ignore, and go have a glass of wine!! Oh, and give Alyssa a kiss for all of us, because *GOD* couldnt have chosen a better mom for that little angel!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:52pm
Well, Eileen. lets put it this way. What percentage of people on this board show you compassion and understanding compared with the percentage of ignorant, clueless posters. I think your in good shape, sweetie!!

Love,

beth

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:55pm
Eileen,

I just wanted to say that you are a remarkably strong and loving person. I read your original post and the response to meghansangel and both your strength and love shine through. Your children are very fortunate to have such a caring mom!!!!

Don't let her post get to you. Its one ignorant person and the rest of us can see what an amazing job you are doing.

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 12:57pm
Increased income is NOT an across the board positive. It depends on the family. Sometimes more money is just more money-and means nothing additional for the family in question. However, sometimes more TIME can be MUCH MORE beneficial to a particular family. Moreso than extra money earned by woh.

Would you say that sahds dont have *the ability* to benefit their families by woh? Why do you have to add in a slam? There are SO MANY women out there who CHOSE to step away from the corporate ladder-not out of a lack of ability, but out of a DESIRE for a different lifestyle for their families. All that remark does is reinforce the thought that you have serious issues with sah and plenty of sour grapes.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 12-27-2003 - 1:02pm
I'm sorry that you have to walk this earth with such a bleak, uncaring, naive outlook. May your number one priority help you realize your foolish ways before it is too late.


Edited 12/27/2003 1:04:57 PM ET by schphoner

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