Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 12:13am
And a general benefit to sahm would be more time and less stress. More money doesnt necessarily benefit children-like I said, sometimes its just more money.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 6:56am
Funny, but I'm not working for money. I've increased my income substantially in the last year. Sure, the "benefits" are nice -- it means I can buy more stuff -- but does more money make me a "better" person? No way. I can't believe you think it does. You have a poor sense of priorities.

I work because working makes me a better person. Being in business for myself means I have to be responsible, dedicated, hard working, honest, and trustworthy.

But then again, I can be all that simply by being a MOM.

No, money isn't the benefit of working. It's merely a nice by-product. But you don't need it to be truly happy. Just yesterday I sat in a pizza resturant somewhere in the green mountains of Vermont and watched my son and DH hug each other. Seeing the love pass between them brought tears to my eyes. I could have had a million dollars in the bank yet all that money wouldn't have made me as happy as I was at the moment.

The more I read your posts, the more I can see how very very unhappy you are. Sometimes I wonder if all this smoke you blow isn't just your way of covering up your very real desire of wanting to SAH.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 8:41am

I agree with much of this post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 9:44am
Uh, yes, I was a sahm for 6 years, as I've said over and over again. When did I ever claim otherwise?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 9:50am
"In GENERAL, it is a benefit. MOST WM's ARE positively impacting their family's finances."

Well that's a given. Duh. Now if you could just get past the fact that there are many other ways a person can positively impact their family other than with money, you might actually begin to see the light.

Or is cash the only thing you see as a benefit to kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 9:53am
But why not? You claim any additional money is a benefit to a family, so if that's true, why would anyone ever SAH? I would love to hear your answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 10:00am
I hate feeding the trolls, so I'm going to respond to your post instead of the op. I just wanted to say that I've been around here off and on for several years, and your statements about your daughter and her illness have always demonstrated your profound love for her and your other children. The vile cr@p that some people are eager to spew on this board never ceases to amaze me. As much as I can tell from an internet community, it seems to me that you are handling an unbelievably difficult situation with a great deal of dignity and grace.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 10:46am
Even if you smoke, but not around the kids, it will eventually affect them.

You're such a hypocrite sometimes. You work for FUTURE finacial stability, but don't think avoiding stress now for FUTURE health issues applies.

If we're only talking about NOW, only the money you make and spend on your kids now is a benefit of working. Not future stability.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 10:53am
I'm asking YOU if you have 5 hours with your kids AFTER work, do you count ALL of those 5 hours as time with your kids???? Because, to do so, you'd have to have them attached to your hip, avoiding all distractions for you (making dinner, straightening up) and for them (watching TV, playing outside, visiting with friends).

How much parenting time do you get after work???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 11:04am
thank you.

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