Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 2:34pm
You said that a mom isnt capable of earning enough to make a difference, didnt you? Being capable of it and choosing something else are two different things.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 2:56pm
Oh my god! How many times do I have to tell you? I believe I've mentioned the ways I personally benefitted my family when I stayed at home with my babies, first and foremost, I took care of my children, no one had to be paid to do it. Do you really want me to go through that long list again? Will it ever register with you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 2:59pm
And? Since when are any of those not valid reasons for sah being more beneficial to their families?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:03pm
I would only be guessing. To be honest I don't even know what middle income is. It might very well be that 50% of middle income families are better off with a sahp for the first 5 years of their children's lives when childcare expenses are so very high. I wouldn't doubt it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:03pm


Women who have husbands who are CEO's or CFO's or V.P.'s or whatever, obviously have a lot of money coming in. Upper level management jobs often require the husband to travel frequently out of town and have long working hours. Unless his wife has a "Career" in something (NOT just a 9am-5pm $30,000 a year desk job), for example if his wife went to Medical or Nursing school or has a specific degree in something she has a life long passion for doing, like being a teacher, etc...why should his wife get up at 5am in the morning and wake up the baby and preschooler at 6:30am and then drop them off at daycare at 7am, then sit behind some cubicle and make photocopies and fedex packages all day, only to then pick up the kids cranky and tired at 6:00pm. Sounds like hell and the kids will be VERY unhappy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:08pm
I said some moms can't. If they can, I don't see why they wouldn't. When something makes a difference to your kids, it makes sense you'd do it. If moms working would be of benefit to her kids, why wouldn't she work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:09pm
Thats true, when care for an infant can exceed $1000 a month at your basic 40hr a week job, I think that OFTEN middle income families do better with a sah or even pt woh mom.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:11pm
Not even wealthy. Just enough to live a comfortable lifestyle and to provide for your family.

Let me ask you a question, if a sahm is driving a brand new mini-van, but could be driving a brand new mercedes wagon if only she went out and got a job, how is that benefitting her family? Let's assume that the family can pay for college, sports, braces, vacations, camp and all the little luxuries that many of us consider musts. Do we all really need to drive a mercedes over a mini-van? Don't you see how more money really isn't always a benefit?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:13pm
General benefits of sahm-consistency in childcare. Not having to seek out childcare arrangements, EVER have a change in caregiver, or deal with a constantly sick child exposed to other sick kids in dc. More time. Less stress.

I am looking at this from the pov of TWO family of exactly the same financial means despite work status. If 2 incomes are NECESSARY to survive, that is a different story.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:13pm
Because sometimes SAH would give more significant benefits that WOH would regardless of the extra amount of money coming in. You are still assuming that more money automatically equals benefits with which no benefits coming from having a SAHP could possibly compete and this simply is not true.


Laura

Pages