Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:18pm
I don't underestimate the value of working at all. If I did, I wouldn't be working.

When I said I don't work for money, what I meant was I'm not motivated by salary alone. Of course I work so I can help pay the bills. But I gain a great deal more from my work -- that is what I was trying to say. I'm not working for money alone nor am I looking to "increase" our SES or upgrade our lifestyle. It's pretty fine just the way it is.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:18pm
Fill in the blank Most SAHM's ARE benefitting their family's by ______________________.

Let's see, eliminating childcare expenses, maintaining the home, running errands, cooking more, chauffering the children, freeing up time for their working spouses, being home for repairmen or workers, volunteering at their children's schools, having more time to read to kids, taking the children to the park, beach, museums, library, cleaning the home, some mow (not me, but some do!), being able to stay home with a sick child without juggling a work schedule or appointments.....I'm sure there are more, in fact there's a whole thread on it running, check it out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:20pm
NO. You said some moms are not *capable* of making ENOUGH money to make a difference. For the millionth time-there are plenty of women who are capable of making very high incomes, but choose NOT to. Why? Because having dual wohps would compromise the lifestyle they have created for their family, because they can live comfortably without a second income. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:21pm
No, I'm specifically talking about situations when moms working would benefit the kids. I know full well that there are moms out where who couldn't make a difference by working. And no, I don't understand why mom wouldn't work if it's a benefit to her kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:22pm
That is such bullsh!t!!!!!

So cocoapop isn't capable of earning enough? I wasn't (I was an engineer, like you), jenna wasn't? My friends who were pediatricians and attorneys weren't?

They CAN earn money, lot's of money. Obviously they (we) all felt we were of more benefit to our families by staying home.

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:23pm
Benefits of SAH? Walks in the park. DS and I were out running errands today and we drove past a nature preserve I used to take him to when he was very young. (I'm always amazed at what he remembers.) He said, "Mom, how come we don't walk there anymore?" I used to take him there because he could run free on the trails. We used to have picnics there and I would tell him all about the birds, the trees, the sky.

Sure, your provider can do that for you, too, I suppose. But wouldn't you rather do it yourself? And have all that lovely time with your child? Time you don't have to "schedule" in around work, and grad school, and household chores and the whole bit?

The benefit is that my son has MEMORIES of our time together. Better than the memories of watching stupid Disney movies at daycare.

outside_the_box_mom

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:30pm
"The benefit is that my son has MEMORIES of our time together. Better than the memories of watching stupid Disney movies at daycare. "

Yep, us WOHM's dont take our kids to the park or have wonderful memories with our children.

For someone who claims to be an "outside the box mom" you surely do see things very black and white.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:33pm
There is a huge difference in saying that a parent is not CAPABLE of earning ENOUGH to make a difference, and a family CHOOSING not to have a dual woh household.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:35pm
NO, i'm sorry, you're just plain WRONG. 3 kids and plenty of memories....it's interesting because memories don't only happen between 9-5, M-F --- and i completely resent your insinuation that wohms don't have any memories.

i thought i knew you better than that.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:41pm
I think most families take a look at both sides at some point. I know for us, it was a matter of weighing the 2 and deciding which would work best for us and for our goals as a family. I'd think that MOST families work that way, weighing different options and making the decision as to what works best for ALL.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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