Which Is Easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2008
Which Is Easier?
62
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:03pm

What do you think is easier? Being a SAHM or being a working mother? I've done both but only worked part time. I think they are both hard, It was hard trying to juggle work and home when I was working, but being at home all day is enough to drive you crazy. Talking to nobody over the age of 5 for 10 hours a day, and doing the same thing day after day.


My husband took a week off of work after our second dd was born, and by the end of the week doing everything that I would normally do, (I had a csection, I was no use to anybody) he said he had never realized just how much has to be done every day and he wanted to just go back to work.


So what is your opinion? What is harder, being at home, or working? Or are they tied, just different?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 8:50am

"And their share of chores aren't dependent on my or dh's work status."


Exactly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 10:38am

While when I was a sahm (and pt wahm), I did more around the house than dh did, especialy when he was working nights, he still did his "fair" share on his days off and when he was awake. And Dylan probably has more chores than the girls did simply because there is only one of him and the kid chores were spread out among the 3 girls. Right now because it's my busy season, dh is doing the double duty of doing most of the household chores while I sew. In the winter, it switches back the other way because then I have less work both at the bridal shop and at home so I have more time to run errands and clean house.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 12:38pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 1:24pm

My answer is going to be like a lot of others - IT REALLY DEPENDS!


For my own situation, I wish I could test for sure which one is harder, but financially I NEED to work right now.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 5:17pm
I suppose it depends on the type of person you are. But in my opinion it's harder to stay home. My husband does construction and currently has a 2 1/2 hr commute each way. But I see it as he has definite hours. My shift is around the clock. He complains about driving in silence for 2 1/2 hours at the end of the day. I drive anywhere and I'm trying to keep my son awake so his nap isn't messed up, or he's just screaming at me anyway. He's the foreman on the job, so he's in charge of what he's doing. Not the same for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 1:38pm

In response to "my shift is around the clock"... remember that working mothers have around the clock responsibilities as well... as I can attest from being up several times last night soothing teething pain. Just because I work doesn't mean I am not on call as a mother 24/7.

For me, life suddenly became much more confusing, hectic, and difficult when I went back to work after an extended maternity leave (6 months). Life was easier being home... that doesn't mean that it wasn't work- I was definitely busy. But now that I am working full time I still have the same amount of errands, laundry, cleaning, etc to get done on top of work responsibilities. It's not like all that crap disappears when you work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 5:40pm

my first marriage -- 15 years -- was just the opposite. I worked my 35 hour week and then came home and did the second shift. I had some help with the nanny and my cleaning lady.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 5:45pm

<<And I love being a mom, every minute of it, and I know the joy on his face is all worth it, but I sure as hell wouldn't mind a paycheck for my efforts. >>


YEAH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 8:14pm

Yeah, i guess I just assume that my husband would kick in with all the household stuff if I were working fulltime as well. Not expect everything that has to do with the house to fall on me. Even though just doing the dishes is impossible as long as my son's awake, as he seems to think I'll get sucked down the drain if I stick my hands in the dishwater. As a Mom one probably isn't any easier than the other, and I know I couldn't handle going to work just for being away from my son that much. Although, it is rough being up all night with a screaming teething baby, and then being home all day with a screaming teething baby. I suppose there would be days when it would be nice to pay someone else to listen to him scream for the day at least. Although it would add a lot more chaos if you're trying to breastfeed while working, I'll never understand how that doesn't make someone go nuts. I suppose it may also depend on what kind of work you do. I know "it's not like all that crap disappears when you work" but I would hope it wouldn't all be my job if I did. My Son probably wouldn't depend on me so much if I worked, which would maybe make life a little easier in some aspects, as even at 16 months he will only fall asleep for me, even though he sleeps in the crib. It would be nice to sack out at 7:30, while my husband fought the baby to sleep for once.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-09-2008 - 8:45pm

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LOL, breastfeeding while working was one of the most peaceful times in my work life.

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