who do you feel more affinity with?

iVillage Member

Registered: 10-24-2007

95	Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:26am

Do you generally feel more affinity with other women whose work status is the same as yours, whether WOH or SAH, or with other women who have a similar socio-economic status/education as yourself, even if they SAH while you WOH (or vice versa)?

As a professional WOHM, would you feel more in common with the checkout lady at Target who works f/t, or with a college buddy who is now a SAHM?

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sild

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-26-2003

In reply to: georgiana_jane

who do you feel more affinity with?

Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:42am

I like people who are intelligent, have a good sense of humor, don't sweat the small stuff and who are open-minded. What they do or don't do beyond that is not all that important to me. If the lady at Target is fun and smart, I'll take her over a stick-in-the-mud professional any day. One of my best friends is a SAHM. Being a SAHM makes sense for her and she likes it. Another friend is a judge, that suits her. I don't really think about it all that much and my own situation is a bit odd anyway, so if I had to stick to people who were like me in terms of work status or socio-economics I would be pretty lonely.

georgiana_jane

iVillage Member

Registered: 10-24-2007

In reply to: georgiana_jane

who do you feel more affinity with?

Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:50am

So you have a best friend who is a SAHM, but do you also have best/good friends who are in a completely different economic group than yourself?

puss_bouquet

iVillage Member

Registered: 07-26-2007

In reply to: georgiana_jane

who do you feel more affinity with?

Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:52am

I feel more affinity with people who are approachable, funny, and have similar interests. This translates losely to people with similar education, but not strictly or universally. Education need not be formal in nature, but they should have an awareness of and interest in the world around them. And that can come by numerous ways, not just formal education. (Reading, keeping oneself informed of current and world events, that sort of thing). I don't have a college degree but a good many of my friends do.

Someone who is always interested in learning is going to be someone with whom I will find common ground. There's a young woman at work who is not that well educated, but she's constantly looking to know more. If she comes across words that are unfamiliar to her, she asks. She reads all kinds of books and she's come to ask me questions about them occasionally. (And sometimes, I even know the answer :) But we've developed a relationship at work based on an interesting in learning new things. If I know the answer, I'll point her in the right direction and occasionally recommend books she could read to learn more. If I don't, she and I will look for books, split the list and then share what we learned together.

She's a really nice young woman and I like her very well, because she's just itching to learn--I think whatever school she attended did her a great disservice or she was in an environment that did. But either way, she and I get along because we enjoy finding this stuff out and I admire anyone who sees a lack in themselves and works to correct it. I think she's been a good influence on me, too, because as I said, I've learned stuff by not knowing the answers to questions she's asked me.

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

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~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

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lois_15354

iVillage Member

Registered: 09-04-1997

In reply to: georgiana_jane

who do you feel more affinity with?

Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:54am

I'm with SILD. My two best friends are SAHMs. One has a master's degree in biology and the other never finished college. One is a SAHM by circumstance -- she has a lot of really young kids and it makes more sense financially for a parent to stay home than to have four in daycare, and she has the kind of skills and career where she can take time off and go back, but her husband doesn't. The other is a dyed-in-the-wool homeschooling SAHM who never plans to be in the full time paid workforce (she occasionally will do some temp work). I have friends who are professionals and friends who are blue collar workers. Work status has never been a criterion for choosing whom I consider to be friends.

sild

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-26-2003

In reply to: georgiana_jane

who do you feel more affinity with?

Mon, 01-07-2008 - 10:06am

Yes, my friends range from relatively "poor" to outrageously wealthy. Most of the time, it is not really an issue. Probably if I made a complete inventory, most would be somewhere in the same neighborhood, but still with a good deal of variation. It is probably also fair to say that most of our good friends read books/have some sort of education, but that does not necessarily translate into money or work.