Who has an easier transition?

I am sort of thinking that a transition that you WANT to make can be psychologically easier even if it's physically hard.....but one that you don't want to make, even if it doesn't require a lot of physical effort, can be psychologically devastating.

Yes, but wouldn't it have been more devastating to stay married and closeted?

well like box tops,she gives back to the community too.

And just like with box tops, the fact that she "gives back to the community" doesn't mean squat. If you support the causes that she supports, you would do better to just write a check to the foundation rather than buy multiple quilted things so that some of it goes back to the foundation. It is silly to justify owning stuff just because a portion of the sales price goes to some cause or another.