Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:28pm

"Sexual activity can range from light kissing to full coitus. It can range from one partner to multiple partners."

Yes, it can :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:35pm

"Two big cons: possible pregnancy and possible contraction of sexually transmitted diseases."

The key word here being *possible*. Case in point, I did not get pregnant nor did I contract an STD.

"Until a person is old enough to be responsible about the outcomes of their actitivies, they shouldn't be engaging in them."

You do realize that includes a good number of adults, right?

So, what do you deem "old enough"? And more importantly, why gives you the right to deem anything for anyone other than yourself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:35pm

"Just curious but do you think becomming sexually active at 15 = getting into trouble ?"

I would definitely put it into the "bad choice" category, which often leads to getting into trouble.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:38pm

"Nothing except for sexual experience, that is."

Why, in the world, is being more sexually experienced a lofty goal for a teen???

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:52pm

"no i don't EXPECT my children to listen to me anymore than i EXPECT them to be influenced by outside forces like teen pressure to do something they're not ready for hk."

Why do you assume that sex only occurs as a result of teen/peer pressure? What if your teens actually choose/want to have sex of their own free choice? What then?

Likewise, why do you assume that they won't be ready? What if your teens are ready and in fact do choose to have sex regardless of whether you agree or not? What then?

"and this parental influence that you seem to find funny should never end imo."

I don't find parental influence funny at all nor do I think it should end. However, I hardly think that parental influence always = objective fact/morality.

"i don't agree that a parent's role is somehow to allow them wings to fly at this age either and talk *choice* with them."

And again, I don't agree that parental influence always = objective fact/morality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:56pm
Hey, for once I agree with you but I go with before the child is born moreso than after. Given that a woman has the right to terminate the baby if she so wishes and in so doing her parental responsibility, I think the man should have the right to terminate his parental responsibility if he doesn't want the child but the mother does. Mom shouldn't be the only one able to terminate her rights. I think either parent should be able to terminate their rights immediately after delivery and have the same period of time given in an adoption to change their minds.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 8:02pm

"Hoever, it is perfectly possible to have high self esteem AND sex."

Absolutely!

"I suspect the difference is actually in number of partners. The teen with multiple partners is looking for validation of desirability."

I agree :)

"The teen in the throes of white hot puppy love with a bf/gf who feels the same is in a different boat and is driven by something other than feeling bad about themself."

Yes :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 8:08pm

"Why, in the world, is being more sexually experienced a lofty goal for a teen???"

More sexually experienced ??? Than who??? Lofty goal??? For who???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 8:31pm

So what you are saying is it doesnt matter if you talk to your kids about sex or not, your *influence* will be enough to guide them?

I'm sorry but that statement isnt even based in reality. Its a nice thought though.

Would you consider your teenager *lost* if you found out they were sexually active? How do you think that would make them feel?

And if it isnt a choice they make, and it isnt mom and dads choice, exactly whose choice is it? What are you saying? I dont understand your statements at all. Can you clarify? Do you plan to just not allow them in any circumstance where they might have to make that choice? Ie; no dating till they are 18 or something?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 8:34pm

But dont you see that even if you tell them how you feel, influence them, etc. they are STILL going to have to make a CHOICE at some point. Whether its a choice to not sneak out to a party, the choice not to skip school, the choice not to take a drink, OR the choice not to have sex. Its still a CHOICE. We all hope our kids make the right choices-but they WILL have to make the choices.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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