Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:24am

"I'm still waiting to hear what the pro to teen sex is. There's nothing you can do at 15 that you can't do when you're older."

Yes, there is something you can do at 15 that you can't do when you're older: You can have sex at age 15. There was nothing wrong, abnormal, irresponsible, or immature about my having sex at this time. It was my decision to make, and I stand by my decision.

Not only that, I do not in any way feel ashamed nor do I regret my choice. I personally feel that the experience I gained was very beneficial especially wrt learning how to be physically, sexually, and emotionally intimate with another person.

Some people are "ready" to engage in sex at 15, some are ready at 20, some aren't ready until much later. Everyone has their own personal timetable when it comes to such decisions and choices. In other words, there is no specific, acceptable, right age in which every person in every situation across the board is "ready".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:26am

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We would love to do that. We keep talking about buying an RV when we retire and traveling all over. That would be a dream retirement.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:31am

Actually, I'm not surprised you hate camping. ;)

I'd like to move to the mountains for a few years when the kids are gone. I envision spending more time doing the physical things we enjoy, like skiing, camping, etc. before we get too old to do those things. My dh isn't a traveler (although he has developed the weird notion that we should tour around in an rv after we retire--I'm not taking that one too seriously), so I don't see us doing that much travel, maybe a trip a year. I'll definitely do more volunteer work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:34am

you couldnt be more off base if you tried, which honestly, i think you are. if you had read my posts you would have read that i have shared many times with my dd that here is what i believe about teen sex, it is not a good choice to make, it comes with responsibilites and ramifications that i personally dont believe teens are prepared to make but in the end you are the only one who can make that choice for yourself because i can not be with you 24/7. and here are things i want you to be aware of when you are contemplating these decisions, how to protect yourself. and if you think your kids are getting everything they need to know about sex in church and school you couldnt be more WRONG, and as a parent i REFUSE to abdicate my role as the parent to a sex education teacher.

do you honestly think i am bringing out a text book when i talk to my kids about sex i am talking to her about things that she wants and needs to know and understand. once again if you think your kids are going to come out of sex ed classes knowing all there is to know i feel for your kids.

exactly where is it you think my daughter is not getting influences? she is getting them at school, at home and from her peers. i just want my daughter to feel comfortable talking to me about the influences that are affecting her life and her decisions - and so far its working really well.

i have asked you a billion times to please explain how when a person has sex is anything but a choice that they make and you have refused to even acknowledge the question. i have also asked how you plan to prevent your daughter from having sex if that is what she wants to do (you know ie..choosing to do so) and as yet i have seen no response to that. it seems easier for you to just knock what is working for others than to explain how you would do it differently. oh yes, you have said multiple times it is not a choice, i honestly dont see how you think that - every action we take is a choice.

and NO i am not comparing sex to choosing a college, had you read the post it pertained to my not always needing to agree with the life decisions my kids make.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:34am

That reasoning makes a lot of sense.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:34am

I understand what you are saying. I believe that a child who is knowledgable will make better decisions. I am very open to discussing stds, birth control, pregnancy, etc. with either of my kids. At the same time though, they both know, because it has been an ongoing discussion, that my dh and I would be very disappointed in them if they had sex while they were still in high school. I think that the values you instill in your kids are what gives them that "little voice" that helps them decide what is right or wrong. I guess where we differ is that, IMO, giving them knowledge doesn't mean that I am giving them "permission" to use it, if that makes any sense, lol.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:34am

"i have to admit your posts have me a bit confused. i am not understanding why you think the decision to have sex is not a choice. in my mind you either have sex or you dont but either way you have to make a choice. and what impressions is it about?"

I'm confused as well :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:36am

ITA. I think if you have healthy food in the house it shouldn't be an issue. It just becomes a power struggle if you monitor what they eat too much.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:36am

I never buy candy for any holiday any more, books is what I always put in their stockings, baskets and etc.


It does go without saying of course, I pick out the good stuff (IMO) and bring it to work for my 3pm munchie break, before throwing the rest out.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 11:37am

"i dont equate teen sex with maturity, but i also dont think i equate it with immaturity, automatically."

Yes :) Clearly, it depends on the individual as well as the situation :)

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