Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:01pm
Do you really think that you were so special at age 15 that you were unique?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:02pm

"i dont believe that a teen having sex equals being promiscuous."

Neither do I :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:03pm

"maybe you see pre-maritial sex as promiscuous, i dont."

I don't see pre-maritial sex as promiscuous either :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:04pm

"i dont think having pre-maritial sex makes one more or less moral, regardless of the age."

Nor do I :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:06pm

"i hope that i raise my kids in a way that will give them the tools they need to make wise decisions for themselves, i dont know that i necessarily need to agree with those decisions."

Yes :)

"right now, although she is only a sophmore, we are starting to look at colleges for my daughter, she is pretty adamant that she wants to attend the univ. of minnesota, while i dont agree with that choice, i dont think it is my choice to make."

I agree :)

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:07pm

I'm not sure if it was the sleep thread or the makeup thread that steered me in that direction. Both tend to be in short supply on camping trips.

A friend of mine defines camping as staying at a motel 6.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:09pm
My guess is that most fifteen year old kids who are having sex are kids who are lookng for intimacy and acceptance, not just the physical thrill of having sex. They're not doing it for the experience, or so that they will get better at it, but because they crave the intimacy that sexual activity brings. They may be lacking firm loving relationships with family members; they may be needing the attention that being sexually active brings; there may be all kinds of psychological needs there that sexual intercourse wasn't designed to fulfill. One big problem with that is that sexual activity is only one form of intimacy, often a shortcut, and often short-lived. The experience often leaves the kids involved emptier and needier than before, especially when the kids haven't really communicated with each other about what each is expecting out of the sexual relationship (often because they don't really know themselves). And even if the teen sexual activity does bring a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, if it's not accompanied by a relationship of real intimacy and emotional connection I suspect it could lead to a pattern of substituting physical intimacy for emotional intimacy that could get hard to break as one gets into one's 20s and even 30s. Plus beginning at age 15 or so could mean that one ends up with way more sexual partners/experiences, etc before marriage....some might think that a good thing, but I suspect that there are limits for most people as to how often you can really give wholeheartedly of yourself before you erect psychic barriers that would get in the way of eventual marital intimacy and the kind of close and trusting relationship marriage ideally entails. I didn't wait until my husband to start having sex. If I had known then what I know now, I would have.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:11pm
i totaly agree with you. my daughter has had the same boyfriend for a little over a year now and whether i like it or not i feel that realisitcally the time will come when they make the choice to have sex - i hope it is when they are both out of school but i just cant know that. and in the mean time i am going to do my very best to encourage both of them to wait, but i am also going to make sure they both have the knowledge to protect themseves and each other should they decide differently than i would for them. and honestly, if they do make that decision i dont think if will have a darn thing to do with peer pressure. it is pretty clear who has kids old enough that they are or have really dealt with these issues and those whose kids are not there yet
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:13pm

"Hmm, So at what age do you think sex becomes age appropriate?"


I already answered this - I think 21 is much better than 15.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 1:14pm
True, but even more likely to be applicable to a greater number of teens than adults.

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