Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:29am
It's no worse than what happens in any restaurant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:38am

" my dh and I would be very disappointed in them if they had sex while they were still in high school."

That doesn't seem very fair.

"I think that the values you instill in your kids are what gives them that "little voice" that helps them decide what is right or wrong."

Are you of the opinion that kids and teens are somehow incapable of developing that "little voice" and deciding what is right and wrong for themselves? What if mom and dad's values/beleifs are just that, *mom and dad's* values?

What if your kids and teens want to discuss the merits of *mom and dad's* values? Will this be something that would up for open discussion? Or will you take a "my way or the highway stance"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:45am

If my kids don't live up to my values, I'm going to be disappointed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:51am

thank you, exactly the way i feel too......dh and i have moral standards we work very hard to live by. this in no way shape or form should be compromised or negotiated for the sake of my child...if that's what you meant pnj.




Edited 2/23/2006 10:56 am ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:52am

That's for sure.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:58am
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:11am

"I think sex at 15 is a poor choice that can lead to negative consequences. I'm glad you didn't suffer those consequences, but I don't want my kids to risk it."

With all due respect, do you honestly think that it is really *your* choice to make as opposed to *theirs*? I mean, ultimately whose choice is it? Yours ot theirs?

"The teen brain is not fully developed at 15, which is why they are so emotional. Kids really aren't adults at that age, regardless of how mature you feel you were."

So, what's the magic age of adulthood? More importantly, do you think the age of adulthood is same for everyone in every situation across the board? If so, why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:12am

"I don't think anybody is ready to have sex at 15."

And you can make this decision for everyone in every situation across the board how...?

"I'm glad I gave myself some time to explore relationships and dating without the added pressure/emotions of sex."

Sounds like you made the right choice wrt your personal situation. However, I hardly think that this gives you the right to make this decision for everyone in every situation across the board. Unless of course, you'd care to explain what it is that puts you in such a position?

"There is absolutely no harm in waiting to have sex, but there can be a lot of harm in having it at 15."

It's very clear that you view teen sex as a black and white issue. However, surely you can acknowledge that your personal opinion hardly = objective fact. Just as my view that it *isn't* a black and white issue doesn't = objective fact. Everyone has their own stance on such matters, which is precisely why I continue to point out the ever-looming problem that consistently arises when people try to make blanket statements that seemingly apply to all people in all situations across the board.

"There is no sexual experience you can have at 15 that you can't have later."

Again, could you please explain what it is that puts you in the position to make blanket statements that seemingly apply to all people in all situations across the board?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:15am

"I asked you several times what the advantage of teen sex was, and you never answered me. "

Actually, I did answer you. From post 2097:

""I'm still waiting to hear what the pro to teen sex is. There's nothing you can do at 15 that you can't do when you're older."

Yes, there is something you can do at 15 that you can't do when you're older: You can have sex at age 15. There was nothing wrong, abnormal, irresponsible, or immature about my having sex at this time. It was my decision to make, and I stand by my decision.

Not only that, I do not in any way feel ashamed nor do I regret my choice. I personally feel that the experience I gained was very beneficial especially wrt learning how to be physically, sexually, and emotionally intimate with another person.

Some people are "ready" to engage in sex at 15, some are ready at 20, some aren't ready until much later. Everyone has their own personal timetable when it comes to such decisions and choices. In other words, there is no specific, acceptable, right age in which every person in every situation across the board is "ready"."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:16am

Just because a person has a choice doesn't mean they'll always make the right one.

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