Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:37pm

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Well, if my children decide to engage in pre-marital sex, I can only say I will make sure they know the door is open to talk to DH and myself, about any concerns they may have. I would obviously stress DH and my values of waiting until marriage. I would also stress how important it is to be committed to someone, in regards to sharing yourself sexually with them.

However, if they decide to engage in sexual activity, my upmost concern would obviously be to have them protected against STD's, and unplanned pregnancy. I would do whatever I need to do, to protect them, even if it goes against my teachings/values, because my childrens health comes before anything else, period. I hope I answered your question pumkinangel.

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:39pm

>>using "teen" when they actually mean "highschool student". <<
my goodness...what on earth is the difference between the two? it's like my dd who would rather be told she's 8 1/2 (closer to 9) than 8..what difference does it make. really?

>>more than a rite of passage. It is a hormonal imperative<<
i so agree with the latter but not that this is some normal rite of passage..children (YES CHILDREN) are taught about their hormonal changes which i support and also teach. and they are also taught about the choices and responsibilities that come along with this time in their lives as well...i just think my place as a parent is to favor and instill the more conservative morals than liberating it with the facts and choices that they'll need to decide for themselves. and that does not mean i'm dismissing the facts or what/how they are feeling at all.

>>have to convince them NOT to listen to what their bodies are telling them to do, so you'd better have some pretty compelling <<
no. see above...what i hope helps is sharing my belief, what i felt like at their age, the boyfriends i had at that age, and so on..i think "that little voice" is a great point (i think robin shared that)...when children are faced with such time, relationship and decision, i *do* think where mom and dad stood is of most importance and impression. unless of course you are rebelling or something...and rebellion is something i did do as a child/teen. i don't think that came from my parents' strict discipline, but rather that same age imperative need of needing to find my own way.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:44pm

You mean a relationship in which a teen and her boyfriend excuse themselves from the dinner table, with a "See ya later!" then go out to her room and lock the door for

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:45pm
No kidding. I have a cousin who gave up a child for adoption when she was 16, and it's been a lifelong emotional issue for her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:46pm

"Yep. Fairly tall order IMHO."


Not really.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:47pm
i dont have the luxury of not knowing yet - while as of today she has not made the request she is of the age where i know it could happen any day and i need to have my thoughts and feelings worked out for myself before that day comes. the concern over std's is one of the reasons i feel giving her knowledge is equally as important as giving her my opinions on the subject - something i have been called just short of stupid for doing(not by you).
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:48pm
Did your parents say, "Ok, hk, whatever you want," or was there any discussion about it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:53pm

the conclusion i have come to is that me not taking her to get birth control is not going to stop her from having sex if that is the choice/decision she has made. i do not want my daughters very bright future jeopardized by an unwanted pregnancy so for her best interests i will take her to get birth control - if i could lock her in the closet i would, but i cant.

but yes, i do know what you mean about your way - that is the way my mom and alot of other moms will/would do it - i just dont want that for my daughter.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:53pm
Can't even fathom.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:55pm

I missed the part where you were criticized for giving your dd info about stds. I agree with you there.

My dd is only 9, so I have a few more years to think about this and to see what she is like and what our relationship is like. I think my reaction will depend on the circumstances. But like I said above, I don't see myself scheduling the appointment, driving her there, and paying for birth control. I think if she thinks she is adult enough to have sex, she needs to be responsible for those things rather than having mom do them for her.

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