Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:19pm

"If my kids don't live up to my values, I'm going to be disappointed. How do you figure "fairness" enters into it?"

Because *your* values are just that, *your* values.

I don't think it's fair for anyone to impose *their* values on anyone else, including their kids and teens.

Sharing and discussing the *various* viable options available, yes. But imposing *one and only one right, objective, correct, morally superior way*, no.

Do you see the differnce between sharing and discussing *various* options vs. imposing *one and only one right, objective, correct, morally superior way*, especially wrt the underlying idea of "fairness"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:22pm
my parents never talked to us about sex and i knew i didnt want that for my kids. however, because of my upbringing it was very difficult in the beginning to have these descussions. at first i always tried to make sure we had them in the car, at night so i didnt have to actually face her. but it does get easier the more you talk about it and as they get older they become more two way conversations and tend to slide off in different directions so that helps too - at least that is the way it has played out with me with my first dd - im sure the second will be totally different - they are about everything else so why would this be any different.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:29pm

<EXACTLY!!!!>>

I wanted to add, why I personally feel so strongly about my childrens health vs. my morals/values. When I was in high school (San Francisco Bay Area), my best friends sister was diagnosed with HIV. I remember she was only five, and was always sick. She had a blood transfusion at the age of eighteen months, and was infected by the donors blood. This was in the early-mid eighties, before they started srceening blood for HIV. It haunts me and saddens me greatly to this day ,to remember Christina dying at the age of five. I think if you see someone die from AIDS, it will forever affect you, like it has me. I feel comfortable in my relationship to my children, to always let them know, their health is their fathers and my first priority, in regards to sex.

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:31pm

"Unlike you, I don't believe in moral relativism."

Of course you don't. Moral relativists don't think in terms of always, never, everyone, or all but rather in terms of occasionally, often, many, and some.

OTOH, Your continual use of blanket statements that seemingly apply to all people in all situations across the board as well as your belief that there is seemingly but *one and only one right, objective, correct, morally superior way* more than exemplifies your disbelief in such foreign ideas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:31pm

"Because *your* values are just that, *your* values."


"I don't think it's fair for anyone to impose *their* values on anyone else, including their kids and teens."


No, that's what I'm saying.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:37pm
which biblical teachings, depending upon ones religion those biblical teachings are translated numerous different ways.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:37pm

"Just because a person has a choice doesn't mean they'll always make the right one. "

Nor does it mean they'll always make the wrong choice either.

BTW, *always* is a fairly strong word. Perhaps you might try limiting the use of it.

Just a suggestion :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:40pm

"BTW, *always* is a fairly strong word. Perhaps you might try limiting the use of it.


Just a suggestion :)"


<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:46pm

"Are you arguing that because it's ultimately up to the teenager if he or she begins having sex or not, that the parents' opinion on teen sex is totally irrelevant?"

Not at all. However, the *parent's opinion* is just that, the *parent's opinion*.

I think the difficulty here tends to arise when parents (or anyone for that matter) seem to forget that their personal *opinions* don't necessarily = objective fact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:52pm

Is my approval a requirement? In a perfect world, yes. In real life, it will not be a requirement, but I would hope that my approval would at least be one of the factors considered in their to choice to have sex.

My job as a parent to to help my kids make good decisions, and avoid bad ones. Having sex at 15 is a bad choice. I don't think there is a magic age for when sex becomes a good choice, but high school is has enough struggle and conflict without adding a sexual relationship to the mix.

Carrie

Pages