Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:53pm

"There is no magic age of adulthood, nor does everyone reach it at the exact same age."

I agree.

"Neither of those statements is an argument in favor of 15 year olds having sex."

Is there a law which states that one must be an adult in order to engage in sex?

I'm not aware of any such law. Perhaps you're aware of one, seeing as you're a lawyer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:55pm
I don't think any of my opinions are objective fact.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:00pm

"so are you saying your kids dont have the right to have their own moral/value beliefs?"

Hmm, quite an interesting question you've posed there.

"i know i dont believe the same way as my parents about everything, yet to date they have never expressed disappointment in my choices."

Yes, this has been my experience as well.

"my daughter is only 15 and she already has views on moral/value related issues that differ from mine, is see it that she is able to learn and form her own opinions and not just follow along with what i believe."

Heck, I see this in my 9 year old! For instance, Dh and I can't resist a nice juicy medium steak, but according to dd, eating meat is downright morally reprehensible LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:03pm

"Neither of those statements is an argument in favor of 15 year olds having sex."


Is there a law which states that one must be an adult in order to engage in sex?"


No, but for the past few hundred posts, many of us have been sharing our opinions as to why it's preferable to hold off on sex until one is an adult, or closer to it than you are at age 15.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:10pm

you know hk, i think you hit the nail on the head with this statement..

>>seem to forget that their personal *opinions* don't necessarily = objective fact.<<

.....maybe the difference is that some parents don't favor the idea that they should be providers of objective fact. i am certainly not in favor of it as there is not *ONE* thing about my children that i can be *objective* about.....i am way too personally attached to share objective opinion about a relationship they may be in, about friendships in general, about life. period.

objective opinions come from therapists, teachers..heck message boards too. ;)

jmoho.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:12pm

"Even if I agreed with you, there's no reason kids can't do that later."

But you don't have to agree with me, as your agreement is clearly far from necessary in order for me to have my own opinion.

"There's nothing you can do at 15 that you can't do when you're older."

Again Yes, there is something you can do at 15 that you can't do when you're older: You can have sex at age 15. There was nothing wrong, abnormal, irresponsible, or immature about my having sex at this time. It was my decision to make, and I stand by my decision.

Not only that, I do not in any way feel ashamed nor do I regret my choice. I personally feel that the experience I gained was very beneficial especially wrt learning how to be physically, sexually, and emotionally intimate with another person.

Some people are "ready" to engage in sex at 15, some are ready at 20, some aren't ready until much later. Everyone has their own personal timetable when it comes to such decisions and choices. In other words, there is no specific, acceptable, right age in which every person in every situation across the board is "ready"."

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:17pm
This is news to me. You're towing the Presbyterian line now? I thought, for instance, that you favored legalization of same sex marriages?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:20pm

"So, even if you and a small minority of 15 year olds had sex with no negative repercussions, why do you believe that you should not have an opinion as to when your own dd begins to have sexual intercourse?"

I haven't said I shouldn't have an opinion wrt when my dd begins having sex.

I have however suggested, that I think difficulties tend to arise when parents (or anyone for that matter) think their own personal opinions = objective fact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:21pm
Only because in your last board incarnation you told us that your mother didn't raise you. Unless I am mistaking you for someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:24pm

"I certainly believe that parents have a right to their own opinions as to their childrens' choices."

Of course they do.

"I do not believe children should blindly, or even necessarily to a great extent, mirror their opinions on their parents'."

Nor do I.

"But I do believe that an important part of parenting is providing children with your own personal opinions."

I agree. So long as parent's *share and discuss* their own personal opinions as opposed to *imposing* them.

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