Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:43pm

"Oh, I get it now. You are not understanding that my opinion does not = making choices or decisions for other people.

Lots of people, In My Opinion, make very dumb decisions. That doesn't empower me in any way to dictate to them what their decisions should be."

Very glad to hear that :)

BTW, what about the possibility that your opinion doesn't = objective fact?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:46pm
Yes, please do excuse me if that question is showing up on your screen as if it were posed to you. On my screen, it is addressed to Felicia, who says that she follows the teachings of her denomination in matters of sexuality and morality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:47pm
Although there is not a law that one must be an adult to engage in sex, there is a law in many states that one must be >15 in order not to risk getting an 18+ partner thrown in jail for statutory rape.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:48pm
See my post 2408.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 3:58pm

"But we're not debating your personal decision"

Actually, we are, in that some people seem to think they have a say in what is or isn't considered age appropriate, moral, promiscuous, responsible, mature, safe, emotionally and physically advantageous, etc. etc. etc. wrt *ME* personally, including you pnj.

"or any other individual 15 year old's decision."

Again, yes some people are.

"Nor are we saying every single teenager is not mature enough to have sex at age 15."

And yet once again, yes some people are.

"We're talking in general - somewhere between one individual and every single individual - okay?"

I disagree. When one is talking about me personally, that's not talking in general.

Likewise, when one is talking about always, never, everyone, and all, that's not in general either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:00pm

"My parents most decidedly expressed disappointment (fury, actually) with a choice of mine. I'm glad that trying not to disappoint them was not a factor in my decision. They very strongly value the tribalism of Judaism and attempted as hard as they could to pass along the value of marrying somebody Jewish. As my Dad put it. "We're shrinking in number and you're making it worse!". I am very anti-tribalism. This value I definately did NOT get from them. It has relevence to this discussion insofar as choice of a spouse is, in part, a sexual choice. And one that I made in direct opposition to their values because I value something different.

So children developing their own values is not necessarily a bad thing (for the children it's not, but my Dad is still ticked)."

Great post!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:02pm

"what do you mean by support? if your 16 year old comes to you and says you know mom i really love whomever and we have been dating for well over a year now and we have decided to become sexually active, can you take me to get birth control - do you support her?"

IMO, yes, you support her :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:04pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:07pm
It's one of the hardest things about parenting. Dd is 16, I cannot and will not observe her every move, she's not likely to tell me everything I wish she would, I don't like abortion, she doesn't like abortion, I'd hate for her to keep a pregnancy, I'd hate for her to place a baby for adoption, it's such a negative situation all around. I'm thinking about asking her to please please please promise me that she'll let me know before she decides to have sex so I can get her some protection and some condoms. But I wonder how realistic that is. Sigh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:07pm
My mom didn't like my high school boyfriend either, but she sure didn't make a secret of it. She referred to him as "AH" which stood for "a$$hole." I'd come home from someplace and there would be a message on the fridge, "AH called." It didn't bother me - I thought it was kind of funny. The main reason she didn't like him is b/c she felt that I was much better than him (he was a dumb jock....), although there were a couple of things that he did that caused her to give him the AH label. Didn't bother me though - I knew I wasn't going to marry him LOL.

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