Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:09pm

"So you basically read all about Evolution, the Libertarian Party and Attachment Parenting and thought about things (no discussion with peers or parents, or very little) and decided that was the way to go?"

Very little discussion from other people (peers or parents).

BTW, wrt all 3 of these philosophies, I had already determined where I stood on these matters and practiced/believed in them well before I knew they existed, actually had names, and that other people believed/shared my belief in such matters. They were basically instinctual to me. I hope this answers your question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:14pm
ROFL - our dd was conceived in MIL's house, while dh's aunt, a nun, was asleep across the hall. While I can't believe I actually did that looking back, I'm so glad I did as it had taken two years of TTC and a miscarriage b/f I got pregnant with her. When it's that time of the month and you've been TTC as long as we were, you don't pass on the opportunity (we were on a 10-day trip visiting). I like to think that dh's aunt was in the other room praying in her sleep for us!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:16pm

No, I do not believe the theories of evolution and the libertarian party principles were or are instinctive at any point.


I flat out do not believe you came up with closely parallel beliefs all on your own.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:20pm
But but but...you don't have to be an adult to buy protection, including condoms. In fact, I think it's actually BETTER if the teen themself is the one who goes into the store and buys them. Taking responsibility for birth control is part of being mature enough for sex. Why should YOU be the one who buys condoms? If she's going to have sex, why isn't it her responsibility?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:23pm
my hope is that by having many conversations with my daughter and making sure she knows and believes that if she comes to me i will help her and not pass judgement and making sure she knows that from her mother she will get not only moms opinions but objective discussions, that it will become more realistic. just like every other parent i dont know if it will work but boy do i hope so - her future is way to bright to end up with an unwanted pregnancy.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:28pm
actually it is i who owe you an apology - so please accept. i didnt notice who it was addressed to as i was in the middle of doing three things at once - never a good time to post. the thing was you pretty much nailed me on the head - even if it wasnt intended.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:30pm
Ideally, she'd handle it all. But what I'm finding out is that teens are splintered and fragmented wrt their levels of personal responsibility. I mean, this girl had to have her internet card removed from her PC because of wasting too much time on myspace.com. She's a good kid, but she's not likely to go from "Gee, this guy and I really into each other" to "Maybe I'd better buy some condoms or talk to my mom or both". She's much more likely to do what a lot of kids do, which is more like "Gee, maybe if we fool around a little nothing bad will happen". Eventually, she'll get it, but in time? Maybe, maybe not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:31pm
my daughter will only be 17 when she gets out of high school
Jennie
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:31pm

Leaving it up to church and school sounds like abdicating your parental responsibility to me. I wouldn't be comfortable with that either. The stakes are just too high to rely on somebody else to do that for you.

I don't know if kids can make appointments without their parents' consent. That's interesting. But I didn't have sex when I was in high school, and neither did most of my friends, so I'm not going to assume it's inevitable unless and until we get there. I would certainly make my dd do the legwork to find out whether she needs parental consent, if nothing else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 4:32pm
Without that, they're sunk. I mean, really. They can have all the info in the world, but when it comes down to it, they have to either have the self-discipline and maturity to protect themselves and do it all right, or they have to go to some adult, ideally a parent, and find out exactly what to do. And if they don't have that foundation of trust and communication, the latter ain't gonna happen.

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