Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:10pm

>>personally feel so strongly about my childrens health vs. my morals/values. When I was in high school (San Francisco Bay Area<<
head spin....don't you think that what it is you deny yet find permissable in that statement confuses your child? regardless of what you say, preach or teach, your child is going to make up their own mind about issues regardless of your blessing....i think your intentions are good as is your own personal testimony. but if i preached the whys of my beliefs and morals then turned around to say 'well know this about condoms..', i would be hypocritical. it's like saying smoking is bad for you, it could kill you and i don't believe you should be making the choice to smoke at the age of 15. but if you're going to do it, please chose salem light instead of salem (i'm no expert in cigarettes but salem just happened to pop in my head).........kwim?


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:16pm

"No, I do not believe the theories of evolution and the libertarian party principles were or are instinctive at any point."

They were for me, which is the only person whom I made a statement about.

"I flat out do not believe you came up with closely parallel beliefs all on your own."

Fine by me. As clearly, your belief is hardly a requirement wrt to my beliefs.

BTW, why do you believe wrt being a SAHM, being a Pantheist, and being an AP parent, but not wrt to being an Evolutionist and a Liberarian?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:21pm

"No, I'm saying that having sex at 15 is a poor choice."

Do you see the difference between saying:

Having sex at 15 is a poor choice VS. IMHO, having sex at 15 is a poor choice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:23pm

"15-year-olds are not."

15-year-olds are not what???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:25pm

"What is the advantage of having sex at 15 vs waiting? What is it that you get out of having sex at 15 that you can't get at 18 or 20?"

Already answered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:28pm

"When children arrive at a moral philosophy that differs from ours, of course we're disappointed."

Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:34pm

"She knows that it is important to wait until marriage."

Why is it important to wait until marriage? I'm asking in all honesty.

BTW, do you see the difference between saying:

She knows that it is important to wait until marriage VS.

She knows that IMHO, it is important to wait until marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:42pm
Waiting until marraige wouldn't work in my family- we tend to marry in our 30's. That said, I will encourage them to wait until they are out of H.S. and in a committed long term relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:51pm

I'd rather be a hypocrite than have one of my dd's contract AIDS or herpes. These are life-long (and AIDS is deadly) diseases.

You can let your children know the facts and what you expect but I feel it is our responsibility to make sure they know how to protect themselves. My mother worked in a hospital during the early years of AIDS (she works in the blood bank and they were not screening for HIV than) and she saw how quickly and devasting this disease killed people. When I got older, she decided she did not want her dd's to ever get this disease. She put me on the pill and told me all about condoms when I was going with dh for about 2 years. I knew she was disappointed but I knew I was not waiting for marriage.

She wasn't being a hypocrite. She was protecting her daughters.

It is the same thing a teen drinking. I will make sure my dd's know they are not permitted to drink until 21. However, I will also let them know that if they make a mistake they are to call me and never, never drink and drive for fear of us.

It is a balancing act.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:11pm
you are so right.......and when it comes to balancing those scales my kids health and well being will win out over my personal values each and every time. i dont think it makes me a hypocrite, i think it makes me a mother who loves her kids and will do what is required to protect them. i have told my daughter the same thing about drinking and driving - and that is one think i have a zero tolerance for.
jennie

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