Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:17pm
do you really think teens are that easily confused? - they really are a pretty smart group. and would you jeopardize your childrens lives to uphold your personal moral code as to what is right and wrong? because i do believe that to not ensure that my daughter knows how to protect herself would be to jeopardize her life - notice i didnt say to promote having sex, to most people there is a huge difference. do you think if you tell your daughters how to protect themselves that it will encourage them to have sex.
Jennie
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:38pm
Not really. I've said numerous times here that it's my opinion, but it's an opinion that is backed up by something. All you've offered is that sex is a benefit at 15 because it is.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:39pm
15-yr-olds are not adults.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:43pm
Let's put it this way. My mother is a racist bigot who rejected my older sister when she married a black man. Both my sister and I have different moral philosophies than my mother does. If my dd decides grandma was right, I'd be deeply disappointed in her. Can we all sit at the same table together? Hell, yes.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:45pm

Nope. All you said was that what you get by having sex at 15 is having sex at 15. What can you get by having it at 15 that you can't get at 18 or 20? Nothing. You can't give me one single advantage.

All you get by having sex at 15 is more sex and more sex partners in your lifetime. Like I said before, fine if your goal is to have a lot of sex and lots of partners. I don't see that as anything to strive for, and I would be very disappointed if my girls viewed sex that casually.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:51pm

A moral philosophy or set of beliefs, a basic moral outlook, is by definition deeply felt as a part of who we are. Our children are also very dear to us and part of who we are. Our personal views on life and the nature of the universe are an important part of what we offer to our kids. That has been the basis of cultural transmission through the ages. You follow so far, right?

So, we'd be doing ourselves and our children a disservice to withhold from them such an important part of ourselves, both in terms of the fullness of our relationships and also in terms of the duty we owe them to help them make some sense of the world. When as adults their views on these matters differ widely from our own, we can't as human beings avoid that dissonant feeling that naturally arises when those we love don't share our most closely held beliefs. But does that mean we feel we've failed or that our children are morally bankrupt? In extreme cases, we may very well feel crushed. But on the whole, one of our core beliefs is individualism, the basic right to decide for ourselves. So we carry on in love and acceptance, despite our differences, as we do with everyone else with whom we differ.

Edited for spelling




Edited 2/24/2006 7:54 am ET by sabinamarianne
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:15pm

It amazes me that in this day and age, there are people who still think information equals permission or condoning.

I think you are in for one wild ride when the day comes that you have teenagers.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:19pm

What you really should keep in mind though, is that your life directions will very likely NOT be the same as your childrens life directions. And the stakes are so much higher nowadays-I cannot imagine not making sure my children are armed with all the correct information, or leaving it up to school or church to do what is essentially MY job.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:39pm
Beautiful post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:48pm
awesome post sabina.

 

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