Who has influenced your sah/woh
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Who has influenced your sah/woh
| Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm |
opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.
We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!


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Unless you give support for a post, most people on a debate board take the stance that your post is opinion only, not "IMO" qualifier necessary.
Would you assume that my statement, "My husband is the most handsome man alive today" is
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i understood and agreed with your post up until this point..
>>I cannot imagine not making sure my children are armed with all the correct information, or leaving it up to school or church <<
..i'm getting the idea that you are chosing not to listen to my different approach because it's not your approach dj. and that's not fair. i have never said that i would dismiss facts from such discussion and only leave it up to school or church to teach. what i did say is that i think, no make that hope, my influence and impression matters more than textbook fact. it would be hypocritcal of me to share my whats and whys about an issue then place it aside and share the potential threats of such decision. if my child asks about stds, about aids, sure we'll talk about it. but it's not my place to arm her with that information because it's suggesting an acceptance/permission to it. you may not think it is but it is in my world.
and what i read before is that one would rather be hypocritical than watch their child die of aids....that comes across sort of shallow because i think this is really something beyond our call or control....what would happen if that armed knowledge you felt so strong about back fired? dd or ds still came down with this illness? it's not necessary that we agree more than it's necessary to understand what sort of parent/child communication works under your own roof in your own world. done.
Edited 2/23/2006 10:09 pm ET by egd3blessed
I am sorry but you have already said several times that your school and church both have *wonderful* programs, and that you would leave that part of your childrens education up to them. Now you are saying that *isnt* what you said???
There are plenty of ways to convey clearly to teens where one stands on things like sex, yet still provide information and facts. I dont want my kids walking around with erroneous info that they have gleaned from friends or even from church. I *know* I can provide them with accurate information, and I think that is part of a parents job.
Honestly, you seem to be the one who has insinuated over and over that a parent who feels it is important to provide information to their kids is condoning early sex. And who is ignoring the facts of the matter.
Would you seriously be able to live with the idea of your child contracting aids simply because *someone told them* they couldnt get it the first time they had sex? Or ended up with an std because *someone told them* they couldnt get it from oral sex? Dont you think its important that they KNOW what the risks are?
dj
Edited 2/23/2006 10:29 pm ET by djknappsak
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I can understand that. Fortuntely you didn't have a best friend whose sister died of AIDS at the age of five. It affected me deeply. I even went through survivors guilt years later.
I can see all parents one day being in this situation. Aren't you teaching your children to abstain as well as myself? I've never talked about condoms with my DD (she is only 10) and personally I wouldn't just approach her at say the age of seventeen, and throw condoms her way. She knows how strongly we feel about her waiting until marraige. However, if she approaches me, and tells me she needs protection, believe me we would have the longest talk about everything she is feeling. I would tell her all the reasons to not have sex at her age. However at the end if my DD decides to engage in sex anyway, *I will not* turn a blind eye to her protection. So let me ask you, you've already stated that you and your DH, your church, and school are teaching your DD about sex. What if she comes to you at seventeen, and says she needs protection? You try to talk her out of it, but she insist that she feels she needs protection. Are you not going to protect your child from disease and unwanted pregnancy in that case? If you would protect her, do you really believe you are then condoning the behavior?
Hopefully the values and morals that DH and I are raising her with, she will at least abstain until she is an adult in a committed loving relationship. I really hope so, because that's what I'm really hoping will be the outcome of DH and my influence in her life.
Julia
Julia
Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece
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I guess that it would be such a special gift that my DD/DS could give to their spouse on their wedding night. However, I am at peace if my children choose to have pre-marital sex, as long as they are in adult, loving committed relationships.
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She knows that it is important to wait until marriage VS.
She knows that IMHO, it is important to wait until marriage?>>
Yes, I do see the difference. Ultimately, the decision rest with her, and I respect that it is her choice, not mine or her fathers to make.
Julia
Edited 2/23/2006 11:34 pm ET by maceymom
Julia
Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece
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It is the same thing a teen drinking. I will make sure my dd's know they are not permitted to drink until 21. However, I will also let them know that if they make a mistake they are to call me and never, never drink and drive for fear of us.
It is a balancing act.>>
Very well said!
Julia
Julia
Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece
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