Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:36pm

"How do you define "objective"?"

How do I define objective fact / truth / reality (from post 2538)?

2 + 2 = 4

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:40pm
n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:45pm

"I don't need a blanket statement--I just need *one* reason why it's a good thing for *any* 15-year-old to have sex. One explanation about what that 15-yr-old is missing out
on by waiting until she's 18 or 20 to have sex. Still waiting."

And I'm still waiting for you to cite where I have stated that the reasons below were mine.

More sex?

More sex partners?

Goals wrt having a lot of sex and lots of sex partners?

Viewing sex casually?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:48pm

Until the time comes to make a moral decision, it's tempting to consider sharing and imposing to be equivalent. Through all our words and actions, we communicate our values, the kids understand as much as their maturity allows, and we may assume, rightly or wrongly, that they believe as we do and will conduct themselves accordingly. They themselves may believe that.

But when faced with choices, we may find ourselves in conflict with what we had presumed to be our values and with what our parents had believed were the values they tried to teach. Sometimes we don't know until we're tested how our beliefs will translate into action. As parents, we may find ourselves up against the limits of how far we can create our kids in our own image, and of how deeply we really believe in tolerance and free will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:50pm
sure some issues are easier to differ on than others(does that make the differences any less real) but i still believe, having lived with the man, that we have differing views on alot of things - although i never said everything. and i really think inside the realm of what i believe to be possible and within my own expereinces. so far it hasnt been a problem for either of us - but it does make for some pretty interesting discussions.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:50pm

"There is no plus side to having sex at 15. I will say that is a fact."

OK.

Could you please explain what puts you in the position to make such statements/judgements/choices/decisions wrt what is objectively true for everyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:56pm
I'm with you on differences between partners; they're inevitable. With a lot of maturity and a lot of luck, you may never find yourselves in conflict over something important to both of you. You may never have a gay son or daughter who asks your blessing upon his/her committed relationship with a partner, for example.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:56pm

"So exactly what *is* objectively true for everyone?"

I wouldn't know, as I hardly think I'm in any position to make such decisions / judgements / choices wrt what is objectively true for everyone.

Do you feel that you are in such a position? If so, why?

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 2:58pm

Oh, so you do understand that you haven't answered my question.

I never claimed you said those were your reasons. I said those were things you get from having sex at 15, and that they aren't aren't benefits in my book. Here's exactly what I said:

"All you said was that what you get by having sex at 15 is having sex at 15. What can you get by having it at 15 that you can't get at 18 or 20? Nothing. You can't give me one single advantage.

All you get by having sex at 15 is more sex and more sex partners in your lifetime. Like I said before, fine if your goal is to have a lot of sex and lots of partners. I don't see that as anything to strive for, and I would be very disappointed if my girls viewed sex that casually."

Now can you answer my question? What is it that you can get by having sex at 15 that you can't get if you wait until you're 18 or 20?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 3:01pm
this may not be the right place to post this but i will anyway :) tis post has me a little confused, so maybe if i ask a couple of direct questions i will understand better.... do you think everyone has the same set of moral values? and do you think others moral values are as valid as your owneven if they are different than yours? not trying to be nosy, i just find this conversation very interesting, and enjoy seeing how others view this topic.
Jennie

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