Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:23pm

You have twins, right? Do you think you could meet the needs of four babies at one time just as well as one? Do you really think the babies get the same amount of holding, talking, rocking, etc. that they could get if there were only one?

If you don't, then I guess there's no benefit to lower ratios for you and your kids. I see a lot of benefit to small babies whose brains are quickly developing. I don't need a study to tell me my kids got more attention when they were babies from me than they would have gotten at dc. They got nursed on demand, carried in slings a good deal of the time, rocked, talked to, interacted with, responded to etc. much more (and more quickly) than I could physically have done if there had been four of them.

I'm fine with saying this is my opinion that more attention is better--it is. If somebody else thinks less attention is more ideal at that age, I'd be happy to hear why.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:26pm

Oh, we're out there -- we're just flying under your radar. ;) There are a lot of attorneys who have left big firms to start their own practices, who manage to keep their hours pretty under control most weeks. And when I was in-house I was working a 30h/week schedule (negotiated reduced schedule). I'd argue that I was still a "white collar professional". And what about doctors? I know lots of doctors working less than 5 day weeks. There are lots of people working as professionals without working killer hours. Plus, not everyone has much of a commute."

Yes I'm sure that's true. I don't work with any Dr's, other than those I know personally (who work long long hours) or lawyers who don't work like I do. But I know they exist.

I found a study that shows about 1/3 or more of all white collar prof's work more than 40 hour weeks. Add that to the average commute being over 20 minutes...and youve got a majority of people working 40+ hours a week if you count commute as time away from home...and I certainly do!

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/05_40/b3953601.htm
The good news -- if there is any, time-challenged amigo -- is that you are not alone. More than 31% of college-educated male workers are regularly logging 50 or more hours a week at work, up from 22% in 1980. Forty percent of American adults get less than seven hours of sleep on weekdays, reports the National Sleep Foundation, up from 31% in 2001. About 60% of us are sometimes or often rushed at mealtime, and one-third wolf down lunch at our desks, according to a survey by the American Dietetic Assn. To avoid wasting time, we're talking on our cell phones while rushing to work, answering e-mails during conference calls, waking up at 4 a.m. to call Europe, and generally multitasking our brains out.

This epidemic of long hours at the office -- whether physically or remotely -- defies historical precedent and common sense. Over the past 25 years, the Information Revolution has boosted productivity by almost 70%. So you would think that since we're producing more in fewer hours, such gains would translate into a decrease in the workweek -- as they have in the past. But instead of technology being a time-saver, says Warren Bennis, a University of Southern California professor and author of such management classics as On Becoming a Leader, "everybody I know is working harder and longer."

And the long-hour marathons aren't a result of demanding corporations exploiting the powerless. Most of the groggy-eyed are the best-educated and best-paid -- college grads whose real wages have risen by more than 30% since the 1980s. That's a change from 25 years ago, when it was the lowest-wage workers who were most likely to put in 50 hours or more a week, according to new research by Peter Kuhn of the University of California at Santa Barbara and Fernando A. Lozano of Pomona College.

http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/005289.html

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:26pm
I would find 10-hr days way too long for my 6-yr-old, even more so now that she is in real school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:27pm

"I'm surprised that so many parents here don't think the care they provide is better, but I think this topic is probably just too sensitive for some people."


The care I provide is better than my nanny's (unless I'm downright exhausted or sick).

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:28pm

That's true. That's one thing I like about family dc. The providers also tend to be around for a long time, and it's just one caregiver instead of multiple caregivers. If I couldn't afford a nanny and didn't have a family member to care for my baby, I would have used family dc. And that's one thing I have changed my mind about since reading these boards--I used to think family dc was not as good as a dc center.

But I still much prefer the 1:1 or 1:2 ratio I had with my kids over a 1:5 ratio at family dc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:29pm

"Paid work and unpaid work are equal."


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:30pm

Gosh, how did they ever find time to squeeze in the Opera. ;)

Generally though, and bringing the debate back into the realm of reality just for a moment, during dc hours, dc kids do not have the "opportunity" to do all of those things on a daily basis. Sahp kids do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:30pm

"SAH says that women can't balance work and home. That when the going gets tough, moms quit. Mom SAH says that it's women's work to care for the kids. (I'm speaking in terms of what society sees not necessarily what I see."

Could you please provide some proof/evidence to back up your opinion?

"I see equal value in women's work and men's work"

Then why do you devalue women's work and/or SAH so incessantly?

"but realize that the only way we'll ever achieve equality is if there is no defined women's work and men's work."

Wow! So all we have to do is to become just like men and do the same work, and then we'll be equal to them? Oh goody! BTW, Could you please provide some proof/evidence to back up your opinion wrt to this being the *only* way?

"When work becomes work, all work will be valued.)"

Ok, so when men and women become androgenous and do the same exact work, THEN they will be equal? Sorry, but that just ain't goona happen LOL! Men and women are simply not the same and never will be. Nor do they do the same work. However, they are still equal and do equal work nonetheless. Ever heard of the phrase, "different but equal"?

Gee, we must live on different planets. I thought men and women were ALREADY equal!!!Perhaps you're defining equality purely, strictly, and entirely in terms of equality in the workforce? Surely human equality is much more far reaching, multi faceted and complex an issue than to be limited simply to the scope of the workplace :)

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:34pm
Ah, see, we do have something in common. If I had woh ft when my kids were small, I would have hired a nanny (assuming I could afford one on my "family-friendly" salary ;)) or family dc before a dc center. I might have switched to a dc center when they were preschool-aged.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 2:36pm
I don't know that I would have passed state ratio requirements when my 4th was born.

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