Who has influenced your sah/woh
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Who has influenced your sah/woh
| Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm |
opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.
We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!


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Jennie
"Although I often wonder why my kids don't seem to remember certain early experiences that I particularly knocked myself out to create for them"
One theory is that we have to have a good grasp of language in order to remember things.
I don't think experience is unimportant but I think you have to get extreme before you're changing a child's personality with experience. I think experiences play into our personalities or againts them but I think, for the most part, kids adjust to whatever their experiences are no worse for the wear. Neglect or doting can cause damage but if you're within the realm of normal parenting, I don't think experiences matter much.
For example, whether or not you use other care. I just don't see this as mattering unless you get extreme. If I chose a satan worshipping canibal for my day care provider, yeah, there might be problems. I think that if kids get good care and the day care provider isn't modeling behaviors/beliefs that are contrary to those of the parents, things pretty much turn out the same as they would if day care weren't used.
I don't see day to day normal experiences as mattering much. What matters are that children have good care and experiences that allow them to grow. There are many ways to accomplish this.
I believe we are more nature than nurture and it takes something extreme in the nurture department to change the nature of a child. I just don't think decisions like SAH/WOH by themselves matter much. If I stay home and provide good care for my kids and good learning experiences, they will thrive. If I work and both provide these myself and hire someone who also provides them, they will also thrive. I don't believe my kids are going to turn out much differently based on day to day normal experiences. Now, when you get into the abnormal yes.
I have a brother who has issues as an adult that stem from him having to get 3 GG shots a week from the time he was born until he was about 4. I remember it taking mom, me, two doctors and two nurses to hold him down for those shots. He has a fear of needles and doctors to this day and often won't take medications that are prescribed. I can't believe he actually went to the hospital when his wife delivered their first child recently. I think it takes extreme experiences to change us. Normal experiences we just adapt to. Adapt is what children do best. It doesn't matter what culture they are born into, they adapt to it.
Jennie
I agree 100%. But still, for the amount of angst we see here about every detail of early childhood, kids forget an awful lot. When my dd2 was a daisy girl scout (kindergarten), I was a troop co-leader. I helped plan and carry out lots of fun organized activities that were quite a bit of work to put together.
Well, last September dd2, now in 7th grade, had a girl in her class over after school. She said she "just met her". This girl was in the daisy girl scout troop with dd2; I remembered her like it was yesterday, and all the things we did. But neither of them remembered ever having known each other. We could have just sat around and strung beads for 20 daisy scout meetings, and these kids would have been just as happy.
Jennie
You don't need a graduate degree to be a SAHM. So how is it that you perceive WOH and SAH as equal?"
Since when is a graduate degree required to be succesful at anything? Michael Dell; Larry Elison; Bill Gates -- don't have graduate degrees. I didnt have a graduate degree when I started earning 6 figures. My DH didnt have a graduate degree when he made his first pile of money.
I know many SAHM's who *have* graduate degrees...in fact, I don't know any SAHM's who don't have undergraduate degrees!
Geesh. Another uncalled for post with a snobby elitist attitude.
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