Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 5:45pm

Paid work and unpaid work are equal."

"No, they're not. Not even remotely."

That's your opinion. I however, consider unpaid work such as: SAH and volunteering to be very valuable as well as important work.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 5:48pm
Um, where did I say I made less than a man? I'm among the highest paid people in my role in my firm and therefore in the industry in general. I'd put my comp up against anyone in the field with no issue. Fortunately comp in my field is performance based so its totally objective as to who makes the most! The top two billers are men...they work longer hours than I and have 20 years on me so that doesnt worry me at all.
I probably don't get some projects because I'm not a middle aged man....but I do just fine thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 5:49pm

Nor does one have to have a graduate degree to be a WOHM, or even a high school diploma, for that matter.

However, if one were to ask "why is a neurosurgeon treated with more respect than a SAHM", factors like education and training for the position would figure into the response. Perhaps her point was that for some WOH jobs, a graduate degree is a requirement, whereas a degree is not required for a person to be a SAHM.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 5:51pm

parental love doesnt cease to exist just because one is not in the same building with a child. my kids have parental love every day even though they are at school 5 days week"

Amen to that. I'm not physically with my children as much as I'd like to be and never said that you have to be with a child to love them, or, to have them know you love them.

But PNJ doesnt seem to see value in parental love in the care one provides for an infant or toddler. I personally see a huge difference between a good loving parents care for an infant or toddler, and the "value" of other care. When possible, I'd prefer our care, to other care, for that reason. Doesnt mean I have to be, or even *want* to be with my toddlers all the time....just means I see a difference. I honestly don't see how a good parent who loves their children *wouldnt* see a difference!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 6:13pm

"Statistically, very few day-care situations are what would be rated as high quality. Everyone on these boards claims to have high quality child care, maybe they do, but the numbers prove that many children are in what would be rated as mediocre to poor. I would have to question the validity of some parents' claims that there child care is high quality."

I also question "the validity of some parents' claims that there child care is high quality."

In fact, according to the NICHD Early Child Care Study which is, "The most comprehensive child care study conducted to date to determine how variations in child care are related to children's development," this is clearly NOT the case.

http://secc.rti.org/abstracts.cfm?abstract=17

"NICHD Early Child Care Research Network. (2000). Characteristics and quality of child care for toddlers and preschoolers. Applied Developmental Science, 4.

In this article, we use data from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) Study of Early Child Care (NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999) to answer 3 questions. The first question is: What structural features and caregiver characteristics predict more positive caregiver behavior in child care for 1- to 3-year-old children? Positive caregiving was assessed in 5 types of care (centers, child care homes, and care provided by in home sitters, grandparents, and fathers) when children in the NICHD study were 15, 24, and 36 months of age (Ns =612, 630, and 674). Across ages and types of care, positive caregiving was more likely when child adult ratios and group sizes were smaller, caregivers were more educated, held more child centered beliefs about childrearing, and had more experience in child care, and environments were safer and more stimulating. The second question is: What differences in caregiving are associated with the type of child care and the child's age? The highest level of positive caregiving was provided by in home caregivers, including fathers and grandparents, caring for only 1 child, closely followed by home based arrangements with relatively few children per adult. The least positive caregiving was found in center based care with higher ratios of children to adults. By 36 months of age, the significance of child adult ratio decreased, and in home arrangements became less positive. The third question is: What is the overall quality of child care for 1 to 3 year olds in the United States? Observed positive caregiving was determined to be "very uncharacteristic" for 6% of the children in the NICHD sample, "somewhat uncharacteristic" for 51%, "somewhat characteristic" for 32%, and "highly characteristic "for 12%. An extrapolation to the quality of care in the United States was derived by applying NICHD observational parameters, stratified by maternal education, child age, and care type, to the distribution of American families documented in the National Household Education Survey (Hofferth, Shauman, Henke, & West, 1998). Positive caregiving was extrapolated to be "very uncharacteristic" for 8% of children in the United States ages 1 to 3 years, "somewhat uncharacteristic" for 53%, "somewhat characteristic" for 30%, and "highly characteristic" for 9%."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 6:29pm

"You don't need a graduate degree to be a SAHM. So how is it that you perceive WOH and SAH as equal?"

You don't need a gradute degree for a lot of things LOL!

Are you suggesting that someone without a graduate degree is somehow not equal to someone who does? If so, why?

Are you suggesting that parents need graduate degrees in order to be parents? If so, why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 6:34pm

"Since when is a graduate degree required to be succesful at anything? Michael Dell; Larry Elison; Bill Gates -- don't have graduate degrees. I didnt have a graduate degree when I started earning 6 figures. My DH didnt have a graduate degree when he made his first pile of money."

YES :)

"I know many SAHM's who *have* graduate degrees...in fact, I don't know any SAHM's who don't have undergraduate degrees!"

YES :)

"Geesh. Another uncalled for post with a snobby elitist attitude."

And Yes again :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 6:35pm

"Nor does one have to have a graduate degree to be a WOHM, or even a high school diploma, for that matter."

Good point :)

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:04pm

However, if one were to ask "why is a neurosurgeon treated with more respect than a SAHM", factors like education and training for the position would figure into the response. Perhaps her point was that for some WOH jobs, a graduate degree is a requirement, whereas a degree is not required for a person to be a SAHM."

Yes I'd agree with that. There is no training or education required to be a parent. God knows there probably *should* be!

MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:11pm

<>

True, if you are strictly talking about education. I believe SAHM and WOHM are equal in the bigger picture. At the end of our life, we will each reflect on what we've done and accomplished. I don't believe that you having a masters degree in life brought you any more joy and happiness, than myself. We will hopefully look back and be proud of the amazing children that we each raised under different circumstances. To me, that makes us equal on a much more important level, than earning power. What's that old saying, *You can't take it with you.* ;-)

Julia




Edited 2/13/2006 7:36 pm ET by maceymom

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

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