Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:23pm
He would make a great SAHP, he just doesnt want to be one if there are other options. But...we also don't want to continue to pay for a full time live in nanny; and private preschool 3-5 mornings a week...when he doesnt work. It makes me crazy and resentful to be honest. He either needs to work or be an at home parent. I would if in the same shoes.
Part of the dilema for him has been lack of peers in a similar role. He could definetly get isolated. We want to do whats best for all of us so for the last 3+ years (while I was pregnant till now)he's looked at career opportunities; and now is pursuing an actuarial designation. He already has some opps based on passing 2 of the 8 tests...but needs to continue to earn what would be enough for me to quit. So we'll see!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:25pm
So your post is somewhat inaccurate. A degree is a wonderful thing, yet I don't see what having a degree has to do with being a SAHM or not being a SAHM. I don't need a degree to do my job, yet I bet you and I make a very similar salary. So does that make your WOH status any different than mine when I WOH?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:32pm
Where do you live where 4 infants to one caregiver is legal? it certainly isn't in Maryland, where Felicia lives.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:43pm

I love all this "either or" crap that is consistently spewed wrt "the Holy Importance of Parents™". Like, if a kid likes his provider and bonds with her and she provides great care, well then just THROW the parents out the window, because what further use are they? Loving and bonding with the provider is NOT a rejection of the parents, nor does it suggest the parents aren't needed or wanted.

It's not either or. Never has been, never will be.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:48pm
Well one would have to be better than the other. My guess would be it is up to the individual. So tell me, which do you think is better?

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:51pm
Where's your proof that the individual attention kids get in dc is just as ideal as the greater individual attention they get at home? Where's your proof that it doesn't matter if a baby bonds to a caregiver who then leaves? Heck, I'd settle for a rational explanation why these things don't matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:55pm

the parent isn't going to leave at the wrong time in the child's development.

Tell that to Kristi's kids. Tell that to Virgomom's kids. Tell that to kids whose parents most definitely left 'at the wrong time" in their development.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



Image hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by Photobucket

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 7:58pm

I live in a western state. Here are the applicable ratios. They're actually 1:5 for infants in dc centers. The university dc, which is considered one of the best dc centers in town, goes 1:4, which is why I said 1:4.

I don't think 1:4 for infants, or even 1:5, is unusual at all.

Provider /Child Ratio
Age Range Ratio For Daycare Centers
Infants (1:5)
Toddlers (1:5)
2 Years (1:7)
2 ½ - 3 years (1:8)
3 years (1:10)
4 years (1:12)
5 years and up (1:15)

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 8:01pm
Um, where did I say it was?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 8:04pm

"Loving and bonding with the provider is NOT a rejection of the parents, nor does it suggest the parents aren't needed or wanted."

Well said. It's not like children have a finite capacity to bond and love. Loving one person doesn't take away from loving another. I don't get why mothers can't see this. After all most of us have more than one child and we have no problem bonding with and loving them all.

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