Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 7:16am

Your uncertainty over just how much individual attention is necessary proves my point. As does your apparent unfamiliarity with just how much individual attention can be provided in othercare.

Also, this argument about quitting really doesn't stand up. Divorce rates approach 50%. Othercare happens in a broad range of settings. What's the evidence that a child in 40 hours of othercare is more likely to experience a turnover of caregivers than a child in full parental care? Even if one assumes, as they should not, that that's a big deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 7:28am

Are you sure it is about "family setup" and what your kids need?

You've posted a lot about how your dh isn't cut out to be a SAHP and how much trouble you have getting him involved him in your children's lives that I would suspect that the reason you wouldn't want a five day off, two day on arrangement would be because it would be too tough on you (and your relationship with your dh).

Would you feel the same way if your dh was the kind of father who took the kids on weekend trips on his own, or if your dh was the kind of father perfectly content to occupy the kids (and did a good job at it; met the same standards you have for your nanny) for the whole weekend while you were away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 7:53am

I don't think the pay daycare providers earn is a true reflection of their value. Dcps will always earn less than a wohp's salary, otherwise it wouldn't be fiscally possible to work and pay a dcp.

And there are lots of jobs (say, the drug trade, madam of an escort service) which require few skills or education, but are extremely well-paid. Yet, society doesn't value them at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:28am
I agree with you that SAH and volunteer work can each be very valuable (may have equal "value" in some sense - to a community?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:29am
Yes, that's it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:33am

"But PNJ doesnt seem to see value in parental love in the care one provides for an infant or toddler."


In some respects, my nanny provides a higher level of caregiving than does my DH.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:36am
That's just like saying you're not aware that you abuse your children, since a certain percentage of parents abuse their children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:37am
Yes, I'm suggesting that people with graduate degrees are materially different (i.e., "not equal") to people without graduate degrees.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:39am

"I believe SAHM and WOHM are equal in the bigger picture."


Ok, so riddle me this:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:43am
No, it's your fault that you have not committed to memory the personal biographies of all of jzy's board friends, even those who no longer post here.

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