Who has influenced your sah/woh
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Who has influenced your sah/woh
| Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm |
opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.
We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!


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I didn't realize that respect for people is tied to what they do for a living.
While I certainly admire the intelligence and skill it takes for someone to be a neurosurgeon, I wouldn't "respect" him any more than someone else just b/c of what he does for a living. What if he was an absolute jerk? Am I supposed to respect him more than someone who is a "good" person but does not hold such a prestigious position?
Put it to you this way - I have respect for the office of the presidency, but I don't necessarily have respect for the person who holds the title of president.
I believe SAHM and WOHM are equal in the bigger picture."
As do I.
"We will hopefully look back and be proud of the amazing children that we each raised under different circumstances. To me, that makes us equal on a much more important level, than earning power. What's that old saying, *You can't take it with you.* ;-)"
Yes. Clearly, earning power is not the end all be all :)
"Where's your proof that the individual attention kids get in dc is just as ideal as the greater individual attention they get at home?"
I have yet to see any evidence/research that supports this claim. However, according to the NICHD Early Child Care Study the following was found:
"Across ages and types of care, positive caregiving was more likely when child adult ratios and group sizes were smaller, caregivers were more educated, held more child centered beliefs about childrearing, and had more experience in child care, and environments were safer and more stimulating. The second question is: What differences in caregiving are associated with the type of child care and the child's age? The highest level of positive caregiving was provided by in home caregivers, including fathers and grandparents, caring for only 1 child, closely followed by home based arrangements with relatively few children per adult. The least positive caregiving was found in center based care with higher ratios of children to adults."
You, on the other hand, know exactly how much parental attention kids need--waking hours, less however many hours a parent's job requires.
And a sahp who gets divorced doesn't disappear from her child's life. She just goes back to work. Not the same as a dcp at all.
If you don't think it's any problem for a baby to lose a trusted caregiver when she's too young to understand why, then of course it isn't--for you. Most parents I know care a lot about turnover rates when it comes to choosing a dc because they do care about such things.
"Where's your proof that the individual attention kids get in dc is just as ideal as the greater individual attention they get at home?"
THe NICHD Early Child Care Study also found the following wrt to the quality of child care in the U.S.:
"What is the overall quality of child care for 1 to 3 year olds in the United States? Observed positive caregiving was determined to be "very uncharacteristic" for 6% of the children in the NICHD sample, "somewhat uncharacteristic" for 51%, "somewhat characteristic" for 32%, and "highly characteristic "for 12%. An extrapolation to the quality of care in the United States was derived by applying NICHD observational parameters, stratified by maternal education, child age, and care type, to the distribution of American families documented in the National Household Education Survey (Hofferth, Shauman, Henke, & West, 1998). Positive caregiving was extrapolated to be "very uncharacteristic" for 8% of children in the United States ages 1 to 3 years, "somewhat uncharacteristic" for 53%, "somewhat characteristic" for 30%, and "highly characteristic" for 9%."
Mom34101 has been posting here long enough to have seen posts by both Kristi and Virgomom. But regardless, lacking the knowledge of who I was speaking about, how did that automatically translate to "I must be posting about divorce"?
Interesting how you choose to presume malice when I only wanted to know where she picked up the presumption I could only be talking about divorce.
Apparently, Jzy isn't the one here guilty of a bit of unjustified bias
Karen
" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""
Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway
Karen
"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't
Felicia's and my argument was about sahms generally, not about her. She didn't even use a dc center when her kids were babies.
I'm not sure why you think it is my personal responsibility to protest dc ratios when virtually everyone in this thread (other than Felicia) says that 4:1 ratios are fine--in fact, just as ideal as 1:1 or 2:1 ratios. And these are the people who actually used infant dc.
What are you doing about dc ratios again?
"Where's your proof that it doesn't matter if a baby bonds to a caregiver who then leaves? Heck, I'd settle for a rational explanation why these things don't matter."
I already posted an abstract that addressed the impact of caregiver turnover wrt quality of care in my last post. However, here is an abstract that addresses the impact of child care wrt maternal sensitivity and child engagement.
"In longitudinal analyses that controlled for selection, child, and family predictors, child care was a small but significant predictor of maternal sensitivity and child engagement. For the whole sample, including families who did and did not use child care, more hours of child care predicted less maternal sensitivity and less positive child engagement. For children who were observed in child care, higher quality child care predicted greater maternal sensitivity, and more child care hours predicted less child engagement."
No, I don't think they are materially different. What I'm using as a measure is what sort of an adult the child becomes. And there doesn't seem to be any difference. You can't look at an adult and tell if they were raised by a SAHM or WOHM. You can't even look at a mother and be able to tell how she was raised based on her current work status. Anectdotally, some women will say they chose SAHM or WOHM for themselves because of their mothers. But the anectdotes (on this board and IRL conversations I've had) seem to shake out evenly. Some women cite their own SAHM as a positive influence in making them SAHMs, some say just the opposite to explain why they are WOHMs ("she was broke when Dad left her" etc.) Some women cite their own WOHMs as a positive influence making them WOHMs, some say just the opposite ("she was never there, I didn't want that for my kids" etc.) Some women are influenced one way or the other by the economy.
"Equal" does not mean "same". No two people are the same- not even identical twins. No two childhoods are the same, not even siblings. But I'm using "equal" to mean "no measurable difference between those adults raised by SAHMs and those raised by WOHMs".
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