Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:01am

I'm quite happy with Maryland's 3:1 ratio, but I follow the rules and regulations fairly closely and I use pending legislation to guide who I vote for in local, county and statewide elections. I've reported unlicensed dcps when I became aware of them and have helped other parents understand whether their own dcp or center was operating legally by providing them copies of the Maryland Daycare Regulations (either for centers or day care homes, as the case warranted).

And I made sure i only used licensed providers and centers when John used them. His own provider had a 2:1 ratio. it was John and her son (who was 4).

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:04am
I've worked for 20 years in a hospital. If I ever once respected somebody simply because they were a surgeon rather than holding a different job, that's long gone. What I do respect is their professional opinion. But then, I respect the professional opinion of anybody who seems good at their job, whatever their job may be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:07am
bTW, Felicia didn't use a center but she did mention using a day care home before getting the nanny. In Maryland, dc homes must be licensed and must follow the same ratios for infant care. Further, the odds of a home provider taking more than one infant are quite small because each infant accounts for 2 dc slots and while infant care typically costs more, it rarely costs double the amount of older kids, so a provider would be taking a large financial hit to give up 2 slots in order to take 2 infants.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:34am

<>

I agree.

"Well said. It's not like children have a finite capacity to bond and love. Loving one person doesn't take away from loving another. I don't get why mothers can't see this. After all most of us have more than one child and we have no problem bonding with and loving them all."

Indeed, children can and do love/bond with multiple people throughout their lives. However, I have to wonder if all types of love/bonding have the same level of intrinsic value, consistency, depth, etc.

With that said, I don't quite understand your "more than one child" comparison wrt dcp's/caregivers. Could you please elaborate? Are you suggesting that caregivers love/bond with your children as if they were their own?

Surely you can acknowledge the difference between the intrinsic value, consistency, depth, etc. of the parent/child bond (which generally develops over a long period of time I might add) vs. the intrinsic value, consistency, depth, etc. of the caregiver/child bond (which generally occurs on a relatively short-term basis)? After all, I'm fairly sure that children know the difference :)

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:47am

Not really. I said I had no idea who they were, and I also said I was "guessing" you were talking about divorce--no presumption there.

Lots of people post here. I don't know all of them, let alone their real names.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:50am

<>

As someone who lives in MD, and has used two home daycare centers in MD in the last 7 years and currently knows several people who have infants in home daycare, I have not found that to be the case at all. Both of the home daycares I used had more than one infant while my dd was there. In fact, the second one she was in had three infants, and no other children. That particular provider preferred infants. My dd was the only infant who was there full time - and there was only one day each week where she had all three at the same time (at that point, my dd was about 15 m/o. In MD, children under the age of 2 are considered infants. My providers were actually licensed through DoD as they were run on a military base. What I recall was that if the provider had three children under the age of 2 y/o, she could not have any other children in her care.

Several of my friends utilize home daycare, and from discussions I've had with them, they all have two babies at a time. Their problem has typically been, that when they have their second child, it can problematic for them when it comes to daycare if their first child is under the age of 2 b/c since there is another infant in the home, then their baby then becomes the third "infant." My neighbor and I were just discussing this actually b/c her dd won't be two y/o until April, and her son is 7 m/o. Another family has their 3 y/o son there and that family had another baby a few months. She had to find othercare for her baby until my friend's child turns 2 y/o in April and the provider will then have room for this other woman's baby.

Perhaps it was your experience but I do not find the odds "small" at all that a provider is unwilling to take more than one infant - the demand for home daycare for infants is very strong, at least where I live in MD, so it is the opposite of what you are saying - almost every home daycare I've known about always has two kids that qualify as infants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:50am

I don't claim to know anything at all; only that when a claim is made against othercare, it needs to be supported with evidence. Nor do I need to know, since it wasn't I who brought up individual attention. I wouldn't even think to question it, since the definition of quality othercare is that a child's needs are met, including food, activity, and attention.

But if you claim othercare isn't as good as parental care, you need to establish that it's inadequate in terms of what kids need; no luck there so far.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:54am
When you're talking about what is more ideal or less ideal, everything is gray.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 12:06pm
Good point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 12:09pm
I do think the old nature vs. environment issue is fascinating.

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