Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 12:57pm
but does the amount of individual attention a child need automatically correspond to the number of children in a family. you have two kids, your two kids probably get more individual attention than my three kids, just because there is one less. for the first 8 years of her life my oldest got tons of individual attention, the other two have always had to settle for less and i really cant see where it has harmed them
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 12:57pm

My claim that there is no difference between parental care and othercare during the workweek is just as valid as your claim that one is "more ideal" than the other. Also, when you claim they're different, the burden of proof is on you.

When I say apples are as good as oranges or that back is as good as white, need I prove it? When you say apples are "more ideal" than oranges, it's you who needs to back it up, not I who needs to prove you're wrong.

You need to somehow establish that the issue of ratios is important to the question. If you're comparing parental care to othercare, then ratios are not automatically important. For all you know, ratios for parental care and othercare are the same. I know several children who are cared for during the workweek by their relatives, on a one-to-one basis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 12:58pm

i'm genuinely concerned why it does matter to *you* tm....it doesn't matter to me nor many people in my own little social circle. only one time in my life do i remember somebody that cared enough to make a stink about some title/position/whatever........she was talking about having sahmoms over for coffee and one of the ladies she invited had a doctor for a husband. i really don't remember why it was such a big deal to this woman but it was. it didn't matter what the other sahmoms' dhs did *except* this one.

hmmm.

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:05pm

Sorry, but you've been watching too many lawyer shows. If you say apples are the same as oranges, you need to be able to back it up. Saying something is different does not mean I bear all responsibility for the debate, but that's a nice way of dodging my question.

Sure I can prove that typical group dc ratios are different from the typical sahm situation. Typical ratios are 4:1 for infants in dc, and somewhat higher for mixed-age home dc situations. The typical sahm has two kids. That some people don't use group care doesn't negate that--it only suggests that I am not alone in finding lower ratios more ideal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:06pm
I wouldn't use whether something is remembered as a measure of whether it was important or not. There just isn't room in our heads to store in retrievable memory every single thing that helps us learn and grow as a person (or likewise, that stunts us). It could be that the diversity of activities (as opposed to endless bead stringing) in daisy scouts was something that helped the girls' brains be actively engaged and learning new skills. Even if none of the activities got stored as a long term memory.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:07pm

Maybe, but there is a difference between being impressed by someone's job title and respecting that same person.

Robin

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:08pm
No, not necessarily. I grew up in a family of 6 kids, and my 2 kids are definitely getting more individual attention than I got as a kid. But I also got something special out of having 5 siblings--just as your kids get something special out of having 2 siblings. I just don't see the something special a baby gets out of being 1 of 4 in group care. And really, I am not talking about "harm." I'm just talking about what would be the ideal amount of attention.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:10pm
What women on The Bachelor were impressed by was percieved wealth. I think they were handpicked that way to keep the "gold digging girl gets her comeuppance" angle alive. If a doctor and a oil heir who has never held a job both walked into the room, they'd be all over the oil heir.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:16pm

I was (am?) a patent attorney, biotech background. I stayed more on the litigation side of things when I was in a firm, although I did patent prosecution for a few years. Then I went in-house with a biotech and did a lot of agreements/licensing. Then I went in with my DH, and did more general business litigation. Then I had my "surprise" DD at the same time DS2 was diagnosed with autism, so I've been a SAHM since then, just trying to get back to work slowly. Although I was just referred a patent infringement case yesterday, so maybe I'm a patent litigator again! Which title do you find most impressive??? Just kidding. ;-)

Probably TMI, but there's my life in a nutshell!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:18pm

<>

True enough! Sadly, though, I'm afraid that the women on The Bachelor are pretty representative of a huge chunk of our society.

Pages