Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:34pm

How is something always better than something else, just because it's different?


Do you give a ranking to everything?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:35pm

But again, the discussion hasn't been about personal choice, it's been about a blanket statement that something is good for everyone all the time.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:36pm

Using that example then either you or your dh must be a better parent, correct?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:37pm

....and I don't think either one is right for the circumstance.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:38pm

I have never said there were no differences - only that an attentive adult is perfectly capable of caring for 4 babies without providing a "less than ideal" amount of attention. The reasons we choose not use childcare when our twins were small were varied. First, we simply *prefered* not to. I did not like any of the centers we had visited at that point, one of us was home anyway because of our work schedules, childcare was very expensive, etc.

"You say that with 3 at once, you did *nothing* but take care of kids (and one of yours was 16 months younger, so presumably the twins were past the bottle stage when you had #3). Yet you think a dcp could handle 4 infants at once and give them as much attention as somebody who had only one to care for. Sorry, but this just doesn't compute for me."

I realize this doesn't compute for you - it is beyond your own personal experience. It is not outside of mine. Yes, my third was 16 months younger which changes the dynamic - in some ways easier and in some ways more difficult - of caring for multiple infants/toddlers, and yet whether you believe me or not, we managed just fine to give each child attention. Yes, caring for one at a time would have been easier, but like parents everywhere we learned (just a little sooner) that having more than one child to care for does not automatically mean less parental attention for each - parents meet the needs of *all* their children first and then spend less time elsewhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:38pm
I'm actually not interested in debating semantics or picking apart grammar. Sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:39pm

"You need to take a hard look at the society you live in."

And...?

"It is not one that values women or what women do."

Personally, I don't need society to value me. I value myself.

"It values men and what they do."

And?

"If you get them to do what you do, you increase it's value."

That's some complex you've got there. Sorry, but what I do is valuable in and of itself. My value and the value of my work depends soley on me, myself, and I, not men LOL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:42pm
You haven't been on this board long enough then. That's what happens all the time so you have to learn to choose your words carefully or be prepared to explain yourself when someone disagrees with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:44pm

"Let's see, women quit in greater numbers than men when they become parents? If women quit when they become parents and men don't, who can't handle both and who can?"

Oh, goody I love riddles. I don't know, who???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 3:50pm
I've actually been on these boards for about 6 years. And I feel that picking a word out of a side comment in a matter barely tangential to a debate, then trying to debate the word, is extremely boring. If you want to debate the difference between "impressed by" or "respect", you are free to do so with whomever else is interested in doing so.

Pages