Who has influenced your sah/woh
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Who has influenced your sah/woh
| Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm |
opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.
We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!


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You said an attentive caregiver at dc would spend the extra time taking care of the kids, yet you assumed a sahm would spend that time reading a book instead of interacting with her baby. Are dcps more dedicated than parents?
Good grief.
****The number of former stay at home moms who are now struggling single parents is mind blowing. I know 50% of marriages end in divorce but it's amazing how many of those divorces happen after kids. Over and over I see mom trying to restart a career now as a single mom with no seniority or vacation time to speak of and lower wages than she would have had if she'd never quit to stay home.****
I am guessing that these women didn't have good attorney's. What is mind blowing is the amount of spousal support on a dependent spouse. You would be amazed what courts order to the SAHM when it comes to money. Most WOHD get hammered by judges in court. So there are two sides to this story. Also another thing you are leaving out is that many 2 WOHP live a two income lifestyle. Not all but many. Many families require two incomes to pay the mortgage, and their bills. What happens to a family income of 2 salaries when one of those salaries is gone? I would say it is just as disasterous as a 1 income family.
****Not that a divorce wouldn't be bad for mine but finances wouldn't be something I'd have to worry about and I've been where I am long enough that I could get away with taking a lot of time off to help my kids through it.****
Do you really think the majority of WOHM are in the same boat as you? I don't think that all WOHM can afford or get away with taking a lot of time off to help their children get through a divorce.
***I don't think staying home is automatically harmful but I do think you need to look at the future ramifications and make a logical decision about the costs and there are costs.***
Not for me. I can walk back into my job tomorrow and make just as much as I did before. I could also cut my hours in half and still make a very good living. So your gloom and doom isn't always the case.
****Now isn't the only time that counts in our lives and staying home not the only way to raise healthy and happy children.****
I don't think it is either. I also don't think being a WOHM is the only way.
****(then she starts repeathing the stay at home is better mantra to make her decision look like the better one and elevate her self importance but I digress....).****
In my case SAH is better for my children. The hours that I worked were not child friendly at all. So for my family it is much better.
YES! That's another thing. If our daughters don't grow up seeing us take care of ourselves, how will they know how to take care of themselves!
Oh, our kids see everything we do. Especially when we say one thing and do another. Personally, I can't think of a better way to teach my girls that you have to be prepared to take care of yourself and your children than to model that. While you can, logically, explain why they should be prepared, it's much easier if you are telling them the same thing you are showing them.
This applies to other things too not just working. Our kids need to see us taking time to exercise, eat right, educate ourselves, just relax and take care of our relationships too. This is how they will learn to take care of themselves and maintain their relationships. I'm not very good at telling my kids one thing and doing another. For example, my older daughter is having some problems with friendships. First I tell her how to be a friend and then I pick up the phone and show her how I do it. It's much easier when you can teach by example.
***YES! That's another thing. If our daughters don't grow up seeing us take care of ourselves, how will they know how to take care of themselves!***
I agree. However I teach both my children this. Not just my daughter.
***Personally, I can't think of a better way to teach my girls that you have to be prepared to take care of yourself and your children than to model that. While you can, logically, explain why they should be prepared, it's much easier if you are telling them the same thing you are showing them.****
Be prepared for what? I am not being smart, I am just curious. I am telling my children and will continue to tell my children to make sure they are educated, work hard, pick a life long spouse and work hard to make sure it remains life long, and to always treat others with respect. I will also teach both of my children that if either of them wants to be a SAHP make sure that is a good choice for the entire family.
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