Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:17am
I'm speaking as someone who has lived in Maryland since 1985, used daycare (of varying types) in Maryland from 1985 til John was 11), has friends and relatives who used and still use daycare in varying forms throughout the entire time I've lived here, as well as my best friend who was a licensed in-home daycare provider on Ft. Meade for a number of years. In MY experience, it is rare to find a provider who takes more than one infant at a time specifically because an infant counts as two slots--hence the reason providers can't take more than 3 infants at a time (2 slots per) and demonstrating the 3:1 state mandated ratio. Apparently your experience differs, but it doesn't invalidate mine.

Karen


" says, "Navy makes a very strong statement." I guess so. It says, "I'm boring." Or, "I'd like this job here at the bank.""


Jeff @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Project Runway



Image hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by Photobucket

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:26am

Oh really? You might want to do some reading on gender. You seem to be living in la la land.

Like it or not, what fathers do and how society views men has more impact on boys and what mothers do and how society views women more impact on girls. Men in our society don't seem to have any trouble taking care of themselves. It's women who tend to have trouble taking care of themselves. If daughters and sons take as many cues from their fathers as their mothers how do you explain that?

It's not an issue of capability. Women are just as smart as men and just as capable of planning for their futures and working. Yet, they don't enjoy what men enjoy in life. You're dreaming if you think the input cues are the same for our children regardless of gender or that mothers have as much impact with sons as they do daughters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:27am
I'd like to know that too. Last time I looked, the law didn't treat parents as entitled when they had kids, it treated them responsible for their kids once they had kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:30am

What law? I'm not a lawyer but I don't belive there is a law that entitles women to money when they have kids.

So you disagree about working moms doing better when the chips are down? Got anything to back that up or am I supposed to take you at your word. I disagree without anything to back it up isn't a very good debate tactic. I've given reasons for what I believe. What are yours?

If mom is in the work force and well established at the time of, say a divorce, she's in better position to take care of her kids. She has a proven track record and, statistically speaking, higher income than if she'd taken a break from working. She is likely to actually get support through this rough time from her employer. Her employer is likely to be tolerant of work below her normal standard (this has always been the case when I'm having a hard time at home with my employers). Contrast this to mom just starting a career or restarting one. She is expected to prove herself. She's expected to go the extra mile. She hasn't developed the relationships at work that would help support her and she is likely earning way fewer dollars than the woman who never quit.

And you believe the working mom is not at an advantage because?




Edited 2/15/2006 5:36 am ET by kbmammm
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:47am

I too am stumped by Sabinamarianne's adamance that ratios don't matter or are a simply personal preference only some parents are concerned with.

Every State limits the infant per caregiver ratio by law. You posted the ratios which *every* State has deemed sufficiently important that they've enacted laws concerning ratios. These are not mere recommendations or suggestions. Thus, limiting ratios is an across-the-board, objective concern to parents.

I believe Laura said in Sweden, daycare centers don't even accept infants ~ again, a universal concern of the State and obviously the parent-voter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:56am
But the opportunity still exists. I am aware many sahps don't seize that opportunity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:05am

<> Do you pick them up after dc or during dc hours? If it's during the dc-day, then it's just another example that you have the opportunity to do things with your sahp child as I was discussing.

<> It's definitely a personal preference. But the opportunity exists for sahp children to take advantage of these places during the weekday as is evidenced by the hours these places are open and the great invention: the family membership card. Years ago, I stopped calculating how much we were saving in not paying for practically bi-monthly visits.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:07am
Every state limits the ratio by law. Maybe that's why I didn't have a problem?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:09am
In another post, you said you do all of these things on weekends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:13am
You're absolutely right. I've said from the beginning that these are opportunities, but am aware some more "house-bound type" sahps won't see them as benefits or advantages. Regardless, all parents would have to admit sah allows these opportunities which dc does not.

Pages