Who has influenced your sah/woh
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Who has influenced your sah/woh
| Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm |
opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.
We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!


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I agree, I just can't imagine
PumpkinAngel
Post #636
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PumpkinAngel
If you think I'm no good at debate, I guess I must be guilty as charged. I should upgrade my skills by taking a cue from you and admonishing posters who claim that things they don't experience don't exist and never could ;-)
I have to agree we'd be wrong to claim there are no problems both in home care and in othercare. And the reasons are many and may include issues with ratios, attention, etc.
But the thing with blanket assertions about the superiority of one type of care over another is that they're easily refuted with very few counterexamples. If my kids suffered in othercare due to ratios, inattention, or anything else, the damage was so slight as to be unnoticeable. I'd say they've had excellent care throughout.
"First of all, in this thread, when we're talking about "better", we don't mean just better in our own opinions. We mean better for most people. And that is something that needs proof."
Do you have any *proof* that we're talking about "better" in terms of objective fact as opposed to subjective opinion?"
Where did PNJ say it was too bad that her nanny loved her children in the same way that her dh does?
This is what PNJ said
PumpkinAngel
"But when it comes to what kind of care children receive, be it parental care or one of the many forms of othercare, there is no universally acknowledged "best" that I'm aware of."
I agree there is no universally acknowledged "best". However, there is in fact research, such as the NICHD Early CHild Care Study, which is considered "The most comprehensive child care study conducted to date to determine how variations in child care are related to children's development" that addresses such questions.
With that said, here are several of the major findings of the study specifically wrt to "child care and maternal bonding, overall quality of child care in the U.S., and the stability of child care.
"For the whole sample, including families who did and did not use child care, more hours of child care predicted less maternal sensitivity and less positive child engagement."
"Positive caregiving was extrapolated to be "very uncharacteristic" for 8% of children in the United States ages 1 to 3 years, "somewhat uncharacteristic" for 53%, "somewhat characteristic" for 30%, and "highly characteristic" for 9%."
"Infants in child care experienced, on average, more than two nonparental arrangements during the first year. The results reveal high reliance on infant care, very rapid entry into care post-birth, and substantial instability in care."
<> I wondered about that and if that's what the studies currently say, I'm not surprised. I'm afraid Kbmamm will have to accept that this is just such a different time than the 1950's and '60's when it was expected that mothers would sah. There has never before been so much focus on the child, so many Early Childhood Educational opportunites and wonderful things for sahps to do with their preschool and elementary school-aged children. When my Mother sah, we still had concrete playgrounds and nothing as fun as a children's museum or aquarium conveniently down the road, for instance. Very few kinderclasses. Even vacation resorts now generally have children's programs.
Having a sahp is a luxury. It is an indulgence and focus on the child. At the same time, if the mother is unhappy, she needn't sah. Never before have mothers had so many rtw opportunities. A lecture I went to outlined several big companies completely targeting the rtw sahm ~ IBM and Microsoft were 2. A generation or 2 ago employers were much more likely to reject the woman with young children.
<> It sounds like Kbmamm is the breadwinner as well as pulling more than her share of childcare. I would never be happy in that situation.
<> Same here!
Oh, I have no problem with a little tv. But some of the wohms on this board would have me believe their Nanny or in-home provider never turns on the tv.
Again, that's the reason I raised smoe objective benefits to sah: one of them being that the sahp knows what her child is doing. The same is not true with dc.
True, there's no magic.
Again, I was stating an "opportunity" sahp children have that dc children do not.
Interesting. The direst warnings I've heard have all come from wohms--the ones who've actually used infant dc or visited them while trying to find care for an infant. One friend told me she wouldn't put her dog in most of the centers she visited while trying to find care for her son.
If dc ratios are as much of a concern to you as diaper rash, I'm not surprised you found all these great infant dcs in your immediate neighborhood. Most people I know are looking for something better than minimal compliance with state standards.
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