Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:47am

DH's nephews are about 5 years older than our kids, so my sil gave us all their old toys. They just never gravitated toward that stuff. Give them a dressup box with a princess costume and a fireman suit, and they went for the princess dress every time. It was interesting.

My kids are different, too. My brother, who has 3 kids, has read that when you have 2 kids, you tend to see them as more polarized (this one is the extrovert; that one is the introvert) than when you have more than 2, which I think is an interesting idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:52am
As I said before, I cared as much about ratios as I did about every other aspect of my kids' othercare. But that's not to say I *worried* about them. I didn't need to. Same goes for a lot of other parents who use othercare. Some of them might feel that othercare is just as good as parental care when used for a reasonable length of time. They have no reason not to think so, and neither do I.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:54am
Interesting again. Most of my friends--woh and sah--are middle-class, and they don't provide poor care for their kids at home. The poor home conditions I know about are mainly from underprivileged kids at my kids' school. Most of those parents work--they have to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:58am

"How better to get someone to accept a lesser role than fill their heads with notions of what a wonderful thing it is they do?"

Lessor role??? Could you please provide some proof wrt to your claim that women's work is in fact the lessor role? Can you say blanket statement?

"I have to ask myself here why fatherhood isn't a holy graile for men?"

Actaully, It IS the holy graile for SOME men? Why do you assume that it isn't? Wow, another blanket statement

"Why is it just women who SHOULD stay at home (men are allowed to if they want to but certainly not encouraged)?"

It isn't. Why do you assume that men SAH is "not encouraged"? Again, can you say blanket statement?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:00pm

"Are you suggesting that women who SAH aren't self sufficient, independent women?"


Are you financially self sufficient?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:03pm

"I think we are dealing with deeply embedded beliefs."

Indeed we are LOL :)

"So deeply embedded that they defy logic."

YOu can say that again!

"If you bring up statistics that say staying at home isn't better"

WHo has said that SAH is better across the board for everyone in all situations? BTW, could you please provide the stats to which you are referring that say that SAH isn't better across the board for everyone in all situations? Honestly, I am unaware of any such stats.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:13pm

"This is a decision often made on pure emotion."

Could you please provide some proof that this is the case?

"If motherhood is the holy graile of womanhood, of course you should give it your all."

Could you please provide some proof that motherhood is the holy graile of womenhood across the board for everyone in all situations?

"Nothing less could possibly do and any data that says otherwise just must be wrong."

Could you please provide us with the data to which you keep referring?

"The bottom line is staying at home serves a patriarchal society"

Could you please provide some proof that SAH serves *only* a patriarchal society across the board for everyone in all situations? Is is completely unfathomable that SAH might acutally serve GASP!!! WOMEN AND CHILDREN as well?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:17pm

Did you get her sarcasm/exaggeration?


You're the one who posited that we're all just posting about subjective opinions, and there's no objective truth (or was that a non-rhetorical question)?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:22pm

"And how about the ones who stayed home?"

What about them?

"Were they cared for by mom exclusively? By dad? By siblings? By grandparents? By babysitters?"

All of the above were studied except for care by siblings.

"How often?"

HOw often...wrt what?

"And instability of care translates into what detriments?"

Instability of care translates into just that, instability of care. I myself view this as a detriment. However, you are certainly free to view it any way you wish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:23pm
I have answered your questions. Are you speaking of the one where you asked if I agreed that it is better across the board to have a SAHP? No I don't. I answered that too.

 

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