Who has influenced your sah/woh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Who has influenced your sah/woh
2912
Thu, 02-09-2006 - 2:39pm

opinion to DIFFER. What I mean is--is there anyone on this board or in real life whose opinion/reasoning/debating/facts started to make your thinking more to the middle? As in if you thought sah or woh was best & then after some discussion/thought, you began to think that whatever is best for each family--really there is no one best way, etc.

We just really needed a new thread here!!!!!!!!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:39pm

Nope, I'm a WOHM, I'm not with them all day most days.


But yes, I do frequently remark on how different they are (probably because they are the same gender and fairly close in age).



Edited to add: are you saying that people and things are objectively better or worse than other people and things, whether or not we choose to do the comparison?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:40pm
i wonder, do these studies include the huge number of women living on welfare as sahm - they are after all moms who do not work. i tend to think they do not include them when they are doing these studies that try to classify sahm's.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:44pm

"Why do you keep assuming that a sah woman is not self-sufficient?"

Yes :)

"And what study (please give me the link if one exists) could ever prove that sah is bad for children?"

Abusive SAH parents perhaps. BTW, I'm waiting for a link to such a study (you know one without extenuating circumstances such as abusive parenting) as well.

"My children are my responsibility. I have always been a pretty strong woman. I have never had a man walk all over me. MY mother was very forward thinking for her age and sah and woh when I was older. There is no way you are going to convince me that in order for my children to do well in life I need to work when they are young."

Hear hear!!!

"What could a daycare center, nanny, othercare provider do for my children that I cannot do? What benefit would it have been for them at 8 weeks old or even at 3?"

Nothing that I can think of.

"I think daycare is fine for children. But, it is not necessary for a child's development."

Indeed it is not.

"Sah in itself (I am not talking financial) is never harmful unless the mother is abusive."

I agree :) But I think "generally not" is probably more appropriate than "never".

"And you keep talking about logic. Logic tells me that I am my children's mother. I find nothing odd about the fact that as babies, toddlers and preschool years I feel the need to be the one caring for them on a daily basis. Logic tells me I am the perfect choice."

My own Logic tells me the same thing :)

"Logic tells me that it is odd to think I need daycare and a job to prove I am a woman."

Indeed!!!

"Logic also tells me that the whole point to the woman's movement was choice. We have choices now that we did not have years ago. I have the *choice* to sah."

I agree. The women's movement WAS about choice.

"My dh never filled my head with his female degrading mantras."

Nor did mine.

"I think I am intelligent enough to decide for myslf whether or not sah makes sense for my family."

As am I :) Great post!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:46pm
no, i said we do museums, zoos, etc... on weekends so we can do them as a family. we have playdates and trips to the library and park alot during the week, sometimes before school is out and sometimes after school is out.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:46pm

"Well, I don't think you're a bad mom at all. Maybe a little grasping, greedy, anti-feminine, with odd notions of gender equality and a basically abrasive outlook lol."

I think you might have forgotten militant LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:48pm

"And you keep talking about logic. Logic tells me that I am my children's mother. I find nothing odd about the fact that as babies, toddlers and preschool years I feel the need to be the one caring for them on a daily basis. Logic tells me I am the perfect choice."


That's not logic, that's instinct.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:48pm
Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:48pm
Her DH is too exhausted to go on family outings on the weekends, so she doesn't bother to wait until then to include him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:49pm

"I do think that in our society *some* people feel the almightly dollar is the arbiter of worth. However, there is a large number of people that would disagree- teachers, nurses, professors, ministers, fire and police personell, EMTs, Supreme Court Justices, social workers........."

Indeed there IS a large number of people that would disagree :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:49pm
No, it is common sense.

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