Why are working moms so angry and defensive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Why are working moms so angry and defensive?
56
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 1:26am
This whole board is extremely scary to approach if you are a sahm and love doing it or at least feel you are doing the right thing for your child. The minute a sahm says my children love me at home or I don't want anyone else taking care of them during the day, the working moms immediately start making sarcastic remarks, such as "oh, I guess I am hurting my kids by working" or you start acting as if they are more intelligent or have a higher education than sahm's. Frankly, I believe the defensiveness and anger comes from guilt and insecurity. Maybe, deep down inside you think that your child wants you around more. Ok, start going crazy on me for stating an opposing thought that goes against the mob.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 2:19pm
I/We don't raise our kids to think they can have it all, Frankly I don't think that exists so I don't really understand your point of view there. Good for you who chose to WOH, I wouldn't be so quick to assume families with a SAHM are more financially strained though. Many of us chose to SAH because we can afford to be here and it works for us too.

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 2:14pm
What is the difference b/w regret and guilt IYO?

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 2:09pm
Lol, I'll have to ask my husband if mommy guilt is because they are threatened by them in the workforce..

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 2:07pm

Having to meet the needs/demands of the children, husband/boyfriend/commonlaw partner on a 24 hour basis. How is any of that effected by work status?

Inadequate parking facilities at work. Some have inadequate parking facilities at home, it's a minor inconvenience at best and more likely tied to where you choose to live rather than where you choose to work

Feeling unappreciated for all the work she does for her employer, boss, clients, etc.......My employers has been rather good to me lately, but my ungreatful children and husband...Feeling unappreciated at work or at home sux

Having to worry about getting the children to the daycare center/school and then making it to work on time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 1:52pm
Sharington wrote:

Having to meet the needs/demands of the children, husband/boyfriend/commonlaw partner on a 24 hour basis.

Inadequate parking facilities at work.

Feeling unappreciated for all the work she does for her employer, boss, clients, etc.......

Having to worry about getting the children to the daycare center/school and then making it to work on time.

Having to pick up the children after school/daycare hours.

Working for an employer who does not provide day care services at work.

Having to go to the parking meter before it runs and having to put more change in the parking meter,

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 1:26pm

Qualify your last statment with the word "some".

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2012
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 12:31pm

Having to meet the needs/demands of the children, husband/boyfriend/commonlaw partner on a 24 hour basis.

Inadequate parking facilities at work.

Feeling unappreciated for all the work she does for her employer, boss, clients, etc.......

Having to worry about getting the children to the daycare center/school and then making it to work on time.

Having to pick up the children after school/daycare hours.

Working for an employer who does not provide day care services at work.

Having to go to the parking meter before it runs and having to put more change in the parking meter,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 12:00pm

Would you mind terribly fixing your Text Block of Doom into something a bit more readable?

And then we can discuss the logical fallacy in which you seem to be claiming that all working Moms are bitter and defensive, which has in no way even been supported, let alone proven.

As a working Mom, I can certainly claim I've been angry.

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2012
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 11:55am

This is ludicrous.More often than not, I have found that stay at home moms can find themselves more depressed, feeling overwhelmed and just plain tired because of the constant constraints that come with staying home with children 24/7. Please don't be mis-understood, the Moms that work - often are Moms that CHOOSE to work. It is a balance, just like anything else.. I personally feel, that I am a better Mom because I work and do have a professional life that compliments my home life. There can be additional strains that come with sahm, some of which relate to finances.. Whether, one admits it or not, two incomes are better than one and do allow for a a better 'quality of life' when it comes to doing things for yourself as a woman or even for your kids. I love my kids and am a Mom that chooses to work; I still manage to make every game, practices, recitals and make plenty of time for one on one attention with my kids.. in NONE of that am I angry or defensive.

I think you will find that the more you talk to women, the more you might understand that there is more to us than just being Moms.. and the fact that we may work, in no way means, we love our children any less or feel less capable of our ability to juggle the home and career life. I love it and believe it shows my kids, that you CAN have it all.. just depends how you handle it.

God Bless!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 11:36am
That's much different from my experience as a working mom. My employer doesn't have a convenient daycare center, but there is an amazing one less than a 5 minute walk from my workplace. The parking facilities are inadequate, but I live close enough to walk. On occasions when I've needed to drive, I have never gotten a parking ticket and there are parking garages and 10 hour meters that I can use so feeding the meter isn't an issue. My DH cooks dinner during the week more often than I do. I am paid decently for the work I do, and have numerous opportunities for advancement and professional development. I work in a female dominated profession and there are definitely (even now) some issues of inequality that should be addressed within the profession, but I've never personally experienced any discrimination due to my gender.