Why are working moms so angry and defensive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Why are working moms so angry and defensive?
56
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 1:26am
This whole board is extremely scary to approach if you are a sahm and love doing it or at least feel you are doing the right thing for your child. The minute a sahm says my children love me at home or I don't want anyone else taking care of them during the day, the working moms immediately start making sarcastic remarks, such as "oh, I guess I am hurting my kids by working" or you start acting as if they are more intelligent or have a higher education than sahm's. Frankly, I believe the defensiveness and anger comes from guilt and insecurity. Maybe, deep down inside you think that your child wants you around more. Ok, start going crazy on me for stating an opposing thought that goes against the mob.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 7:55pm


Well, no wonder. What parent allows a child to define the parent/child relationship? My children are older and love me to not be at home so they can watch tv, play vidios games, but I'm the parent so I get to decide what's best for the entire family.

<"oh, I guess I am hurting my kids by working" or you start acting as if they are more intelligent or have a higher education than sahm's.>

Well, SES is objectively a primary factor in good and bad outcomes for children, though individual circumstances can vary widely. If you want to post on a debate board, you should be prepared to argue your position - it's what we do.

< I believe the defensiveness and anger comes from guilt and insecurity. Maybe, deep down inside you think that your child wants you around more.>

No defensiveness, anger or guilt. I know my kids don't want my husband and I around as much anymore, but they are a preteen and teens testing their boundaries.



No, you haven't stated anything new. Just the same ole, mah babies need meeeeee and my way it the bestest way for everyone else. BTW - It's provably not, but we're all copacetic that it works for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 5:04pm

I think a lot of posters are shocked when someone disagrees with them.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 11:17am

I'm now an SAHM. My kids also enjoy having me home, but I don't see this as a reason for dissing someone else's choice, or assuming that someone who WOH is defensive and guilty. I was also a WOHM and did not feel the least bit guilty.

Why assume that you know others' motivations? It's perfectly okay to say you love SAH without implying anything about anyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 10:52am

I'll tell you why I work.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 9:24am
People tend to get a bit sarcastic when SAHMs try to argue that they are bestowing some amazing advantage and benefit on their precious children by staying home with them. Many women on this board have grown kids and have tried various things over the years, SAH,WOH WAH etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 7:49am

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 6:22am

We be rollin', you be hatin'......

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

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