Why are you a working mother?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Why are you a working mother?
148
Fri, 02-01-2008 - 5:01pm

Why are you a working mother?



  • I would like to stay home, but we need the 2nd income.
  • I would like to stay home, but I'm a single parent.
  • I wouldn't like being home all day; I prefer to work.
  • I like my job, and we do need the money.
  • Other


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Fri, 02-01-2008 - 10:48pm

I work for a few reasons - 1) I truly enjoy what I do and feel that I better society for my community and family through what I do, 2) My parents were able to pay for me to go to a private college and I want to do the same for my children, 3) My husband and I are trying to save up some money and pay off his college education so we can live in an area that is more family-friendly, and 4) My daughter is very proud of what I do and we talk about my job a lot.


Having said that my employer is very flexible and I work from home a lot - especially after everyone's asleep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 02-01-2008 - 10:55pm

please make sure that, periodically, you put yourself first - so that you don't reach that breaking point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Fri, 02-01-2008 - 11:50pm
Thank you, Eileen - that means a lot to me...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:32am

At this time of my life I work because I love my job.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:40am
I went back to work after my dd was born, because when I was pregnant, *EVERYONE* was guilting me about how expensive things baby-related would be that I was scared. (And I am not talking about "The total cost of raising a child". People gave me specific numbers for specific things). It's really a long story, but in the end, none of what I was expecting happened. The expenses came out to be a tenth of what I was expecting.
Before I was pregnant, I planned to be a sahm, because I thought everything most sahms do. That "strangers are raising your child", etc. The scare tactics about money forced me to go back, and after time went on, I stayed working because I could see for myself that this was the best decision.
My dd's daycare is through a church, and we have been attending the church. They have all become like family. Honestly, I don't know what we would do without them, because they have been our only positive support system. They are not "strangers". No one in their right minds would leave their kids with a stranger. The first time I met them, I was 7 months pregnant and scared to death. I dropped in several times after that before the baby was born and then again when she was a few weeks old so they could meet her. Each time, they made me feel at ease. This was so important to me. My pregnancy was a horrible time in my life, and I loved that someone seemed so genuinely caring about me and my child.
I meet a lot of sahms who brag that they are the only ones who their child ever sees or knows. I think this is sad. My mom was like that. She bragged about how I never had anyone but her or my father, and I really suffered for that as a child. A child's parents are supreme to them, but they still need other people and they need to form other relationships. I missed out on having other people in my life because my mother was selfish and needed to use me for validation. Whenever I hear a sahm say that their child isn't usually around other kids and that they are only with mom or dad, I feel sorry for the child, even though the mother is usually smug about it.
I woh, because all of the sahm arguments just don't hold weight with me anymore. At this point, they all just seem like words from someone who has their head in the sand. All the stuff about it being harmful to the child? Whatever. Come over and meet my dd. Everywhere I go with her, I get so many compliments about how happy, sweet, and advanced she is. She can't possibly do any better. All the stuff about how no one will hold her or love her as much as me? Again, whatever. Sounds like someone who needs to be put on a pedestal for validation. All A.J. really wants is to crawl around anyway. When she was a baby baby, I held her all the time, and she didn't even seem to want it as much as all the attachment parenting books I read said she did. All the things sahms say about how "daycare will take up your whole check". Um, no. That was solved with simple math.
There really is just nothing sahms say that holds any weight with me, because it was all debunked for me personally. I don't know how else to put it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:41am
You are hateful in your posts, and sometimes, it's directed at your daughter, which is sad.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:46am

no. I'm SARCASTIC in my posts....
I love my daughter passionately and she's a great kid-- she's just had some really um interesting moments in her life.

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:55am

Katie??? Hateful? Oh please.

She's about as hateful as this is actually a picture of a big scary monster.



Now we know why giggle kitteh gigglez

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:59am

I'm always amazed how being honest about the fact that your child has at times been intensely difficult translates into hating your child for some people. I've always tried to temper the 'spawn of satan as a toddler' posts by ones that talk about how much she's grown up lately, how amazing she was when my mom died, how politically aware she is, the things we do together, I've tried to be HONEST about the fact i knew BUPKIS about babies and toddlers and the team at her daycare was an amazing resource to me when i was ready to pull up, leave her on the curb and drive away...;-)

my child ain't perfect. But neither is her mom so together we're a good fit.

besides you have to love a child who routinely says "Geee YA THINK??!!!!" in exactly the same voice as mine....I feel like the jedi master of sarcasm sometime....

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 7:07am
If you and Liza were to meet John and me, would that be like the sarcasm version of matter and anti-matter colliding? ;)

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"I think Noonan is at least eight years too late when she laments that faith now trumps competence in GOP politics. It didn't seem to bother her much when a candidate she supported -- the catastrophically underqualified GWB -- was running and citing Jesus as his favorite political philosopher...It's like the old saying: When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with Hucka-fleas..."--Gator

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

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