Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:42pm

My words

Yours

"Bull chit, the parent does control how a child responds and it is the parent's place to deal with the response. "

I clearly stated that parents don't control their children at day care and you clearly stated you think they do. No, I'm not twisting your words at all. I don't have to.




Edited 2/10/2007 3:44 pm ET by gr8fulmom1
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:47pm

That link does not claim that parent's must control 6 month olds or kids in general.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:49pm

You pretty much have to if you want your schedule matched. I understood going in that my kids would have to adjust to the dcp's schedule. My kids, unfortunately, were the problem chidlren because they were the late arrivers. They didn't get to day care until 8:30 wheras some of the kid had been there since 6:30. Still, nap time was after lunch. They just took shorter naps. Well the one that actually napped did, lol. The other one still doesn't sleep.

I just think it's unreasonable to expect a dcp to adopt your schedule when she has other families too who have their own schedules. For us, a later nap time would have been better but it would have been a disaster for the other kids who had been up a couple of hours longer than mine and had to go to bed earlier than mine to get up earlier than mine. I can't expect to create problems for someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:52pm

Iam debating your opinion that is is not the responsibility or the problem of the parent when the provider is having issue's with their child.

My kids do have minds of their own and when there is a issue anywhere with my children it is my problem and my responsibiity to help create or find a positive solution.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:53pm

And how will YOU solve your child biting at day care when you're not even there when the biting occurs?

YOU can't. The biting needs to be dealt with WHEN it happens. What are you going to tell your 1 year old biter? "I hear you were bad at day care today. No strained pears for you!!"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:56pm

Given that she refused to deal with the situation, it's a good thing this poor child is out of her care. It was, however, her problem all those months she dealt with it. The problem is she tried to make it the parents problem and it didn't work because it couldn't work. There's nothing the parents could have done at home to fix this.

I am amazed that someone would put a baby through this rather than buy a swing though. What a small price to pay for some comfort for a baby. It says a lot when a person would rather listen to the baby scream.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:57pm
When you're making things up in threads this size, it's hard to keep straight what you've said to who, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 3:57pm

No, i said nothing about a child being in dc or a 6 month old.

I was talking about the responsibility of a parent to teach self control.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 4:02pm

We disagree, If my child was biting at daycare it would be my problem not just the dcp problem.

You may not be having the issue at home but the person who is caring for your child is, so imo it is your issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 4:04pm

LOL. Didn't we just agree it isn't?

The problem is that you can't do anything about behaviors your children don't have around you. The parents weren't having the problem. The magic swing was never even tried (I seriously doubt the swing is the issue given the length of time this child was in the care of the dcp without the magic swing. Most 8 week old babies adust to changes in short order unless they are feeling insecure.)

The only thing the parents can do is inform the dcp of what they do at home. If the dcp is then unwilling to provide the magic piece of equipment at her home, there isn't much they can do. Honestly, a swing would have been a small price to pay for peace of mind. There are so many things she could have done.

If she can't afford a swing and the parents can't afford a swing, then have the parents bring their swing with them. At least try it before you declare it the needed magic piece of equipment. I can see a parent being reluctant to buy a swing for a dcp when it hasn't been proven the swing will work at the dcp's.

As a parent, the only behaviors I have any hope of controlling are the ones I see. I can't do anything about the ones I don't see. You just can't reason with kids this young.

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