Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:18pm

(((I am amazed that someone would put a baby through this rather than buy a swing though. What a small price to pay for some comfort for a baby. It says a lot when a person would rather listen to the baby scream.)))

The parents KNEW that their baby screamed all day. Odd that they wouldn't buy the swing isn't it? If my child needed a special item for dc I would have provided it. Especially if I knew that my baby was crying all day.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:22pm

I really see this entire debate with you for what it is. You really just want to argue with me. It has been told to you that these parents (even though asked 2 times) did not provide a swing for their dd. No matter how you want to blame me where do you finally see it for what it is? You won't blame the parents because it might just prove you wrong. You had a child that required a dcp wear her all day. Good for you that you found someone willing to do that. I really don't think you will ever be that lucky again.

(((I can see a parent being reluctant to buy a swing for a dcp when it hasn't been proven the swing will work at the dcp's.)))

Why didn't they bring theirs?

(((As a parent, the only behaviors I have any hope of controlling are the ones I see. I can't do anything about the ones I don't see. You just can't reason with kids this young.)))

But you said earlier that you can't control your children in dc. Does that mean you can when they are with you?


   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:25pm
I am thinking she thinks dcp are raising the children. She expects them to deal with their children's bad behaviors without any of her input. She expects them to set her children on a schedule. She expects dcp to provide any special items to children that they might need. You might be on to something with this question. I will wait to see what she says.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:27pm
OK we will disagree. I want my children to know when they do something wrong when I am not around that I am aware of what they did and I do not want them to do it again.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:28pm
Wrong again. 6 weeks.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:30pm
She wants to make everything an either/or. You are 100% correct. BOTH the dcp and the parents have to fix issues with the children.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:32pm
Exactly! When my parents started they told me how they did things. I was fine with following along. Both children are doing well. Works for us. You can't really set a hard schedule when you have different ages. One with a bottle and one eating lunch. I can't really fix lunch for one and bottle feed at the same time. I really enjoy having them follow their own routine. It works great for both of them.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:39pm
What we disagree on is the age at which that happens.

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love my boyworking momgirl



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 11:29pm

Then we agree. The adult who is THERE is the one who has to control the behavior. Sorry, but I can't take responsiblity for something I don't create. This particular baby had problems in one place only. Day care. Gee, I wonder where the cause of the problem was? At home? or at day care?

I am floored that in 4 months time this dcp could not figure out how to soothe this baby. She blames the swing but never bothered to prove that point. My guess is that would have taken away her excuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 11:33pm
i have never implied that she had issues in her daycare because she didnt love the child. honestly i dont know why she had issues in her daycare. but i do believe that good dcp's do love the children they care for. that of course is just based on my experience, which is pretty limited. but then i also acknowledge the different kinds of love that humans are able to feel. i dont love my dh the way i love my kids, i dont love my nieces and nephews, sisters and brother or my parents the way i love my dh or my kids but that doesnt change the fact that i do love all those people and more. andi have said repeatedly that no one loves kids in the way that a parent does, not sure why you keep throwing that in there, i guess because you seem to think there is only one type of love
Jennie

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