Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 11:33pm

WRONG....And I repeat

"My words

Yours

"Bull chit, the parent does control how a child responds and it is the parent's place to deal with the response. "

I said the parents don't control how a BABY responds in day care and you answered with "bull chit". These are YOUR words in response to mine stating that the parent does not control the how the baby responds in day care. "Bull chit, the parent does control ho a child responds...". That's what you said!!!

Um, I said "BABY" in my post which you were answering. While you change the word to child, you were answering my post about a BABY. Nowhere did you state the child had suddenly grown several years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 11:37pm

How do you better the behavior if you are not there to see it? You do like to be vague with your answers don't you.

"A one year old biting is not my problem" At least we agree that a baby who bites at day care isn't something the parent controls. HOw do you take responsiblity of your child who is biting at one? Quit being vague and answer the question. What are you going to do with this one year old at home that will take responsiblity for the biting problem at day care and fix it? Pull his teeth?

What you are not getting is that when dealing with something like a baby who won't soothe at day care, there is nothing the parents can do to change the child's behavior. That power lies with the dcp.

Side question? What do you think of Ezzo?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 11:55pm
and you had that expectation of your children when they were infants? my 3 year old goes to preschool, if he had a problem with biting, or whatever misbehavior you want to plug in, i would certainly talk to him about how biting is not the right way to handle things, biting hurts, etc... but at the end of the day it is the responsibility of the preschool/daycare to deal with the issue on a day to day basis as it occurs, just as it would be my responsibility to deal with it when he is with me.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:00am
i think it would be alot creepy for a dcp to love a child like a parent - but i think it would be equally creepy for a dcp to spend as much time and energy with and on a child as they do and not love that child. as i have said, perhaps my perception is skewed because of the wonderful dcp's i have had
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:09am

And you really think that a child who won't be 2 until April is going to understand all that several hours after the pushing event happened? Were you able to reason with your children at that age? I sure couldn't.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 2:41am

I think you can still have am impact. Children want very much to please. I would hav a little conversation something like this "you bit someone today. Mommy doesn't like it when you bite. Mommy is disappointed that you bit. We don't bite." And then on the way to DC "Mommy hopes you don't bite today. We dont' bite our friends. Mommy knows you can not bite your friends." It may not have a big impact just once, but a constant conversation about expectations is going to reinforce what Mom and Dad expect followed by immediate action by DCP should have a bigger, quicker impact than just action by DCP alone.

However, I actually don't think this translates to the sleep issue we were originally debating.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 2:54am

What age do you think it occurs at? I think one of my biggest pet peeves about parenting today is people setting the bar low for kids and saying "well they don't understand yet, we can't expect that of them yet" and in the end you end up with 18 year old adults with the moral compass and self discipline of a 10 year old.

I will admit that I may have started a little early with my DD on discipline and expectations but I figured why not try and see if she responds - amazingly she did. Now I have a 4.5 year old who has pretty good self control to the point where I can tell her "hey your room needs to be cleaned by the end of the day" and leave it to her and at least 80% of the time she has it cleaned by the drop dead deadline without any further discussion or reminders. She has already learned that we have certain expectations, there are consequences for failing to meet those expectations and that the consequences are a direct result of her choices. Now given all that, we still have some significant discipline hurdles to overcome - if anyone has any ideas how to deal with complete obsession with getting toys and special treats and being absolutely non-appreciative I would love suggestions. We have tried just about everything and she is still turning into a litte materialistic brat! UGGGHHHH!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:12am


It would do no good to discuss bad behavior with a one yr old

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:21am


That doesn't happen.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:24am

No.

Photobucket

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