Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:27am

That is one point I've been trying to get across and haven't been able to.


A young child is NOT going to understand hours later, what they did wrong.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:34am

And one of my biggest peeves of parenting today is expecting every child to develop at the same rate.


All children are individuals and develop on different schedules.


Some children will recognize a 'bad' behavior at say..18 months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:51am

You're giving the under 1 set way too much credit in the wantng to please mom and dad.

Yes they wan to please but what they want is that immediated reaction they have pleased. It doesn't do any good to tell a 1 year old who bit a playmate she was bad or scold a 6 month old for not napping.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:58am

Until children are old enough to reason with there's nothing you can do other than what is done immediately after the offense. By the time mom picks a young child up, he's forgotten the offense all together. Any punishment then wouldn't even be associated with the offending action.

If a behavior happens both at home and at day care then yes, I can work with my baby/toddler at home. But if I never see the behavior, for whatever reason, I can't correct it. Waiting to address issues with very young children just doesn't work. Reactions have to be immediate in order for the child to understand which action it is that caused the reaction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:01am
I am baffled at the number of people here who think you can reason with a 1 year old or train a 6 month old to sleep at day care at home. At these ages, you deal with issues right when they come up or not at all as once you lose that opportunity to react immediately, it's lost. Wait until we get home just doesn't work up until a certain age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:04am

I was just going to post this.

My kids normal schedules at home aligned with their schedule at day care. What they do 5 days a week kind of trumps what they do 2 days a week.

No as an adult, I ofeten have a different schedule on the weekends and man do I pay for it Monday morning, lol. You'd think I would have learned from my kids. They had the sense to keep the same schedule 7 days a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:33am
I don't disagree in general, but I think we as a society have set the bar too low on what we think kids are capable of. I guess I just see them as much smarter and more capable than most people give them credit for and I'm not sure why this is a bad thing.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:37am
I don't think you can not discipline the behavior immediately. I would expect my dcp to handle any situation immediately. However, I do think you can reinforce expectations of good behavior at home. I did make it clear that I don't think this pertains to 6 month old's sleep habits.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:43am

I actually never said anything about the under 1 set. I said that parents of a 1 year old who is exhibiting bad behavior at DC can reinforce the discipline at daycare at home. I would not expect the dcp not to immediately discipline at the time of the incident, I just strongly believe you as the parent can say and do things that will help out. And I would never tell a child that they were bad or scold a 6 month old - where you got that from my post is beyond me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:56am
And I disagree. 1 year olds don't reason. Two yours after an incident is way too late to deal with it. Where do you get that they reason long enough for punishment hours later by someone who didn't even witness the event to work? A 12 month old baby is still very much a baby.

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