Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:41am
EXACTLY my stance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:44am
I have never claimed to wait till we get home to deal with it, i expect the provider to address the issues when it happens as the parent i will help to inforce the issue, by using many techniques to help to end the bad behaviuor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:45am
Im sorry but you have misunderstood me, i already clarifyed what exactly i was adressing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:47am
I already clarifyed this also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:50am

I already answered all these questions for you, there is no reason to carry on and on.

I told you as the parent i would take responsibility and help parent the issue, i would not just think "it is the providers problem"

I have no opinion on ezzo to each his own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:55am

<>

No need to be sorry but i would be responsible for something if i created it or not, when it comes to my children. So we really do not agree overall.

<< This particular baby had problems in one place only. Day care. Gee, I wonder where the cause of the problem was? At home? or at day care? >>

I am not discussing "this baby" never really have been and i have clarifyed that, your the one who keep carrying on and insisting things about this baby and have no idea if day care was the only place the baby had problems.




Edited 2/11/2007 12:08 pm ET by xenozany
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:01pm
You keep insisiting on this is what is being said and it is not. The care taker must address the issue immediatley it is the parent's responsibility to parent it, not simply ignore it b/c "you have no contorl over your child or did not witness it cuz you were not there"
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:11pm

Well, this debate is about whether the parents control babies. I don't even think they control older kids. Though they can exert influence when they're not around with them it still falls to schools to handle discipline issues when they come up.

Unfortunately, even teachers think like this dcp. It's ALL mom and dad's fault make them fix it.

When dd#1 was in kindy, her teacher kept sending me messages saying that dd rushed through her work and that it was sloppy and would I work with her at home on it. Nothing I did made a difference in the classroom. Finally, I asked dd what her teacher says when she turns in her work. Her answer stunned me. She said: "You can to play now". It turns out that the first child done got extra play time as a reward for getting done first.

Her excuse was that she just lets the kids go play when they get done so she can work with the other kids who still needed help. The problem is, she was, literally, rewarding the behavior she wanted me to correct. When I didn't correct it, I got labeled a problem parent. I asked her to give dd's work back to her and tell her to redo it when it wasn't acceptable but she couldn't do that because it might hurt dd's self esteem. UGH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:15pm

If punishment should occur immediately and I'm not there to see the offense and respond to it, I can't very well address it, can I?

When did older kids creep into this debate? Can you link to the post where we jumped from the 6 month old baby at question to whatever age you're talking about? I have been and am talking about babies. The question of this thread is should the parents control the baby's behavior at day care and I say no because it's simply not possible.

Yes, there comes an age where children reason and parents can influence how their children respond to others but that comes later after children can reason and know right from wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:17pm

What are you talking about? If I'm not there to see the behavior, I can't parent it can I?

How does one parent a behavior anyway? I understand parenting children but have no clue what you're talking about in parenting behaviors. Doesn't matter though. I can't very well do anything with it if I'm not there and my child isn't old enough to reason and understand that the consequences now are for an offense earlier in the day. Babies understand only what happens immediately and if I'm not there I can't correct or parent the behavior.

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