Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 2:31pm
If the swing was what was needed to do her job and the parents couldn't provide one she should have bought one. I don't believe it was the swing. The baby was too young to be addicted to anything to sleep at 6 weeks old when she started day caer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 2:34pm


But we're not talking about older kids here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 3:20pm
Well let's pretend for a moment that it was the swing. From what I read the parents couldn't get the child to sleep without the swing. So maybe it was the swing. I don't think that the dcp should have provided that swing. If the baby needed a sling that the mother wore to get the baby to sleep should dcp have to buy that? Daycares have their equipment and last time I checked I didn't see them taking orders for specific items each child needs. I think you are wrong here. I think it was irresponsible thing that the parents didn't provide what their baby needed to sleep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 3:37pm
In a toddler you may very well have to witness the behaviour to do anything about it. Talking to a toddler about something that happened when they were in daycare (unless it was only minutes before being picked up) won't do anything. Kids really do have to be older than toddlers before "I heard you were bad earlier this morning" means anything. If a toddler bites only in daycare and only in response to stresses that happen at daycare (not because mom and dad are getting divorced or there's a new baby or some other non-dc stress), adressing at home does nothing but delude the parents that they've "done something". Go ahead and tell a 15 month old that it was bad to bite another kid earlier that day. They may not even know what the word "bite" means out of context (or at all). And it is out of context if you are talking about something that happened earlier in the day. The techniques parents can use to end biting at home assume that biting is happening at least ocasionally at home or that the child is responding to a stress that originates in the home (and so can be addressed there) or that the child is old enough to have a concept of prior time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 3:52pm
i agree with you....and imo,that's like any other feature a dcp has a duty to honor if the parent desires it. the parent *should* have provided the swing,explained particulars wrt the child's needs for the sitter.......i can't believe the tug is about a dcp having a responsibility to deal with it differently - why should parents accomodate themselves and their children's lives to a dcp routine?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:01pm
but the problem is, that especially with young children waiting for several hours to deal with a situation doesnt work, they dont even remember the situation. and there are some issues that are issues only because of the circumstances and situations that occur at daycare. if i have a child who has never bitten anyone when i am around how am i going to deal with the behavior of him biting a child at daycare when i am not there. what led to the biting, what was going on when he bit, was he overly tired, those are all things that need to be known before you deal with a behavior issue in a small child and that is why the person who is there needs to deal with it.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:05pm
I entirely agree with addressing it immediately by the dcp (or parent if around) I just also believe in a little extra mileage with parental conversation if the behavior happened at dc. Not that it necessarily will accomplish much but it starts the conversation and who knows maybe it has an impact (like with DD).
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:11pm
That would have had me all sorts of up in the teachers face - I agree the teacher there should make her expectations clear about what type of quality of work was required. However, as the parent I probably would have had a little conversation about taking pride in work, doing it well and not rushing - then another little conversation with the teacher about her poor classroom management and possibly another with the administration if the teacher did not change her tatics (esp since the teacher is having a huge impact on my DD formative work habits). But man would I have been pissed if the teacher was sabotoging like that.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:15pm

I think we jumped when we started talking about the concept of helping reinforce at daycare. However, I never said the parent should be the one to discipline immediately, it should be the provider.

I believe that you start discussing right and wrong pretty young (12 - 14 months). Before that I be hard press to call anything a discipline issue and certainly not sleep patterns.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:27pm

"I think it was an irresponsible thing that the parents didn't provide what their baby needed to sleep".

Rather than being irresposnible, I think it was implausible. I think there is some major spin going on in an attempt to make the parents look bad. I find it pretty implausible that the parents would go through all the hassle of having to take their baby out of a dc situation and set something else up just to save themselves 45$ (or whatever) on a awing. I supppose it's possible. But it's really unlikely. What would be more of a pain in the neck to them? Arranging a new dc setup or bringing in a swin? And yet we're supposed to believe that they would rather go through the hassle of finding a new arrangement than just bring in a swing? That's what I'm having trouble buying.

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