Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:04pm

I'm glad that it worked out for you. Out of my 4 children, that would have only worked on Joy. Erica would have decided that biting was more important to her than either the toy or obeying mom/dad. Angela would have forgotten all about the toy less than 5 minutes after having it taken away. And Dylan has to be caught in the act. Once the behavior is over with, he has moved on. He is into the process, not the results.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:13pm

If it was the swing, a swing is needed. As a parent using a dcp, I expect her to supply the equipment she needs to do her job. The dcp, at least, gets a tax write off for buying the swing. I'm kind of jaded here because I've known too many parents who could barely afford day care. To have your dcp order you to go buy her a special piece of equipment she needs to do her job is a problem IMO. Especially since a good dcp should be able to figure out how to get a baby to sleep even without the swing.

4 months starting at 6 weeks old is plenty of time for a dcp to train a baby to sleep. I consider the fact the dcp didn't the fault of the dcp. This baby was not addicted to this swing when she started. She may very well have been by 6 months but the dcp had plenty of time to figure out a method of getting the baby to sleep before that. If anything, the lack of a swing at day care would have impeded getting addicted to the swing to sleep.

I just don't buy this story and even if I did, I don't think the dcp should be telling the parents to buy her the equipment she needs to do her job. I consider it a failure on the dcp's part that she didn't get this baby to nap in her care. Her scape goat is the swing. Which shouldn't even have been an issue the day that baby started at day care.

I've known too many dcp's who managed to put kids to sleep without the method mom used at home being available. Take me. The only way I could get my kids to sleep was to lay down with them and nurse them. Yet my dcp could manage to get them to nap. Go figure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:34pm

your opinion isn't universal. in fact,it sounds more institutional than it does home type dcp...one thing that turned me onto *m*'s home daycare was the lack of dccenter appeal it had. i don't remember seeing bouncy seats,swings,equipment like that. i remember carpet,bright colors on the walls,little tykes playhouse,table full of crayons and books,a big television in the other room with lights a bit more dim,bean bag chairs,cots..none of her home looked like a center.

i think when one is looking for a home dc,they're looking for comforts of home instead of center..and unless a parent wanted artificial stimulai (like the pumpkinseat i provided),it just wasn't there

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:53pm
um, a big television is artificial stimuli. One of the things that turned me off of home daycares was the too frequent use of the television. my center does not have tvs but has all the other items you mentioned (except for dim lights - I'll give you that one).
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:03pm
You might be right, but why would they hang in there (as you say) for over 4 months? I dont know if I agree with your assessment but I guess it is also a possibility. I just know that if my child were crying for several hours a day at a daycare I would either buy the swing or leave immediately. These dolts had their baby there for 4 months. I dont know how this poster did that. I would have gone nuts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:08pm

<<>>

If that were all she wrote then yes. But you didn't put it into context. She wrote that the baby was crying from being tired but needed her swing to sleep. I would have told the parents the same thing. If I couldn't have gotten the child to sleep and she spent her days screaming from fatigue I would not keep her either.

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Or maybe that she wanted the baby to be able to sleep or be able to play alone while she is doing her work. From all these posts she has written it is clear that baby was screaming because she was tired.

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That I don't know. I didn't see that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:10pm
A chunk of those 4 months may have been taken up by making other childcare arrangements. Even if they WANTED to leave a lot sooner than that, they couldn't actually do that until new childcare was in place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:17pm

<<>>

You are right. However a swing isn't a requirement for a daycare center. She said she had two swings. The baby was used to a different type of swing. DC don't accomodate specific items for children.

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Sorry but not being able to afford daycare is not the problem of the provider. I must say I dont know any rich dcp do you? Also she told you that she didnt care where the swing came from. The parents could have easily brought their swing. The OP told you that too.

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Well for someone that doesnt buy her story you posted a lot of messages to her. It doesnt matter if her story is true or not. If this daycare provided diapers for the parents but the ones the daycare provided were Huggies and a parent said that her child could only wear Pampers, then it would be the responsibility of the parent to provide those diapers. Same thing with the swing.

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So why do you get a pass? Your children would only go to sleep a certain way with you but you arent buying that this baby was used to going to sleep a certain way? Sounds like a double standard to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:23pm
She said in another post they didnt have childcare for the baby. That the grandmother was watching the baby. Sounds like to me that no matter what this posters says you guys are going to blame her. I wonder why no one wants to be openminded to the theory that these parents were just idiots, that loved their infant going to bed when she got home so they could have a relaxing evening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:59pm
Because it wasn't the swing. Any dcp I know worth going to would have been able to figure out how to train a baby they started with at 6 weeks in how to nap at her house. Something is very wrong in that this child started that young and never learned to nap at the dcp's and it's not the swing.

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