Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:00pm
You forgot another possibility. The story is made up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:01pm

I was not specifically directing babies, that is why i responded as i did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:05pm
Quote you? where did i claim to quote you? Please provide a link that specifically states iam quoting you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:07pm

I don't think they are needed even if they are used at home. A good dcp will be able to train a baby she started with at 6 weeks old in how to nap at her house, swing or no swing. That's why I blame the dcp here. SHE is the one who couldn't manage to train the baby. She blames the swing which really is nonsense when you look at how young this baby started. The baby had, at most, if the parents started putting her in the swing to sleep from day one, 6 weeks of nothing but the swing before she came to the dcps where she would have been needing 2-3 naps a day. I find it totally rediculous that we are to believe that a 6 week old baby just REFUSED to sleep without her swing.

If this story is even true, I'd be more willing to bet this is just a child who has a difficult time falling asleep. The parents use a swing and it appears to work for them. The dcp also needs to find something that works for her. For some reason though, she seems to think the parents have to find something that works for her. One possibility is that the baby crashes in the swing not because it's THE thing she needs to sleep but rather becuse she's exhausted after spending a stress filled day in the care of her dcp.

It may not even be the swing. It may be the day care environment preventing the baby from sleeping at day care and then she just crashes when put into the swing at home where she isn't stressed out of is just so exhausted she can't fight it anymore.

This child would have been exhausted by the time she was picked up by her parents. Maybe when exhausted she'll sleep anywhere including a swing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:14pm

I tried but given the assingment was given by the teacher and not me, there was little I could do in the face of the teacher accepting the work and even rewarding her getting done quickly. The only person complaining about her work was mommy and she didn't understand why I was complaining when the teacher wasn't. I wasn't even in the classroom and didn't see the assignments until it's too late to redo them.

I ended up pulling my kids from this district and putting them in a charter school. It turns out that they consider not criticizing a child some sort of self esteem building exercise. They will only compliment children and tell them how special they are. They will never tell them their work is not up to standard.

The way they tell it, if the child feels good about who they are they will do good work. That did not work with my dd, or the children of the other families I know who now have their kids in charters, private schools or are home schooling.

Sadly, I know where this kind of schooling leads. We had an engineer quit recently. She was good and I was surprised that they didn't make a counter offer to keep her. My boss commented a few days ago that he was glad she was gone because she couldn't deal with not getting patted on the back for just doing her job. He said she had a constant need for praise and that she had left because he wasn't about to meet it. He says that's just not his managment style. And it isn't. We all know that he'll tell us if he's unhappy with our work but if he's leaving us alone, all is good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:16pm

There you go with vague answers again. How do you parent behavior?? What, EXACTLY, woudl you do if your toddler were biting at day care but not at home? How would you parent the behavior of biting? (and what is parenting behaviors??)

For those of us who have no clue what parenting a behavior is, just give step by step directions. What would you do if your 1 yo was biting at day care but you never saw him biting to parent the behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:17pm
LOL. You think a 14 month old understands the concept of right and wrong? Only if their IQ is about 200.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:19pm

Yup. Also even if you do see the behavior at home, it may occur for different reasons at home than in day care so what you do at home may not help in the slightest at day care.

I think you're onto something with parents THINKING they've done something by talking to a child who doesn't get what they are saying in the least.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:22pm
I do not think you must wait for several hours, adress it when it happens but it is the parent part to inforce the issue, not the providers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:34pm

I have told you more than once what i would do to start the process...to parent behavior is really pretty much common sense. Be responsible for you kid's behavior. Parent it do not blame it on others.

Like i said research it.

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