Why do some parents have to be so
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Why do some parents have to be so
| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm |
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.


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Sorry, I missed the word "to" the first time. I read it as gr8tfulmom this IS you, instead of this is TO you.
My bad.
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Why couldn't you train your children to sleep without co sleeping or nursing them? Why couldnt the parents of this child not get her to sleep without the swing?
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I think you are out of line here with respect to the op. She has told you that the parents use the swing to get the baby to sleep. So what is their excuse? Is the baby stress filled at home too?
A swing is only a requirement if the dcp fails at training the baby to sleep at her house and wants to use the same method as the parents. This baby NEVER used THAT swing at day care, therefore, it never should have been required. The requirement stems from the dcp's inability to train the baby to sleep at her house not from the fact the parents use one at home.
If the dcp wants to use the same method as the parents, that's fine but they didn't create that situation. This dcp started with this baby at 6 weeks old and couldn't manage to train her to sleep at her house in 4 months time. That's her shortcoming to deal with.
Now, if the parents had created the situation then it would be their responsibility to provide what was needed but she's the one who failed to teach the baby to sleep at her house. The parents cannot teach the baby to sleep at her house. She has to do that.
Plus there's the simple fact that by the time this baby sees that swing, she's exhausted. It may not be the swing at all. The swing may simply be the thing she's placed in when she's exhausted and passes out in it. A baby in this age range that is not napping is going to be one stressed out baby.
The most likely scenario here is the OP made it all up but assuming she didn't the next is she's either inept as a dcp or dealing with a baby that just happens to be a difficult baby. Either way, it's her place to figure this out. If it's the former, she needs to learn to do her job. If it's the latter, this won't be the last time she meets up with a difficult child so she might want to prepare herself for that.
I can see a dcp choosing to use the same thing the parent does in this case but that is really her choice not theirs. I can see her asking them to bring the swing in with the baby to see if it works. Really, you have to, at least, do that before you declare "it's the swing". It could be that being in this dcp's care stressed the baby out so badly she couldn't sleep and simply passed out from exhaustion at home and it happened to be when she was in the swing.
No big deal, im just trying to let you know my stance on this issue, baby, toddler, preschool elementary, beyond, it is the PARENT"s responsibility to deal with a behavior good or bad no matter if they are present or they are not. IMO it is poor parentning to believe it is the care taker's problem.
Edited 2/11/2007 10:37 pm ET by xenozany
i just dont understand how you do that with a small child who has no concept of time or of others or of right and wrong. if a two year old bites someone at daycare there is a cause for it that is originating in the daycare, unless the child is biting at home as well. how can the parent recreate the daycare situtation that caused the biting. how can the parent discuss something with the child that the child doesnt even remember. you can certainly tell a 2 year old that biting is not nice but they are not going to connect it to the fact that they bit tommy as daycare that day. the dcp has got to enforce the issue they are the one dealing with the issue.
if one of your kids has a playmate over and they misbehave, unless it is really something serious, do you really sit the parent down when they come to pick up their child and give them a litany of everything their child did while they were away, or do you just deal with the issue as it occurs, send the kids back to play and be done with it. i would never let my kids go to someones house that i didnt feel was capable of dealing with most normal issues that arise among kids, and i really dont want to have to know if susie took tommys toy as long as the issue was dealt with when it occured.
Jennie
I don't know how easy it is to find good day care where you are but I started looking when I was three months pg with dd#1 and most places had 1 year wait lists. ABout the only way I could see a parent putting up with this kind of care is if they had no other choice in the matter. While you're right to question why a parent would allow their child to be handled so badly, I don't think you're right in calling them dolts. They may simply not have had any other options.
Plus things like nap issues tend to work themselves out over time when the dcp works with the child. Perhaps that was their hope but it simply did not come to fruition.
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