Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:13am
Ita.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:15am
I would want a caregiver to love my child. Imo, care by itself in the absence of love isn't quality.Children thrive when they are receiving loving care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:18am

Gra8ful, iam talking about children in general, not the 6 month old in the op, if my 6 month old was biting at daycare, it is my problem, i have to help end the bad behavior by talking to them about it, interaction and stimulation. If your one year old bite at day care you would not ask them< child and provider about it? I would. We would be discusiing it at dinner that nite, i would be showing that i bite food< yummy yum! At bath time, ect ect ect

Any way i agree to disagree with you! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:13am
i do believe i used the term "dolts" rather than idiots--i am not only openminded to the possibility, but i was the first to establish it. as i said then, even if they are culpable, they aren't totally culpable. a perfectly intelligent person, given hundreds of hours on a regular basis, should be able to solve the problem despite the dolts'/idiots' behavior....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:41am

I dont think anyone that goes into the field of childcare doesnt love children in general. If they do go into the field without loving children in general then I agree there is a problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:42am
Well how would you be able to ensure that? I think caregivers can give very good care without loving a child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:45am
I think she did solve the problem. Unfortunately the parents didnt give her the tools to complete the problem solving issue. She also said that the baby was able to sleep if she held her the entire nap. That isnt something she was willing to do either. So really she did solve the problem with the baby but one solution wasnt followed through by the parents and the other option she was unwilling to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 9:52am


If she's going to be in the child care business, it's imperative that she

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:27am
I am not sure why you think this. What if her daycare provided Huggies diapers? Mom and Dad say well we only use Pampers. Should the dcp have to go to the expense of buying a different brand? I dont think she should. She said she had 2 swings that the baby didnt like. IF their is something special that child needs it is the parents responsibility to provide that. It is the parents responsibility to provide the things their child needs, not a dcp.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:27am

i just can't believe that a specific type of swing is the one and only solution to the problem. and i can't believe that anyone would argue that it is right and good that a dcp try to micromanage parents' handling of their own child. it is up to parents to find a childcare provider whose attitudes and habits are compatible with their own; sometimes parents make poor choices in this regard, and then it is up to them to change their choices--not how they parent their own children, not how they behave in their own home. it is up to dcps to respect the parents' right to be the parents; sometimes they are uncomfortable doing so, and then it is up to them to end the business relationship--not to dictate how the parents will parent their own children, not to dictate how the parents will behave in their own home. i think everyone can agree that getting the child out of this situation was the right thing to do--the right thing for the parents or the dcp or both to do.

i don't think you are necessarily wrong to believe that the op ended the arrangement, but i don't think we have enough information to judge either way, and i'm with the op who questioned how likely it is that parents would give up excellent or even good ft childcare over the cost or loan of a swing. i suspect this is a difference of perspective: people who know or at least believe in the value of good childcare know that parents are unlikely to give it up lightly; people who allowed others to be involved in the care of their infants (including not only dcps but the children's fathers and others, as well), know that infants don't require anyone to march in lockstep to keep them happy and healthy.

as i said before, i think the whole swing/sleep thing spun out of the op's control--i think that, like the sling issue, the topic received more attention than it was due; that her actual intent was to depict a couple she no longer works for as caring more about their jobs than their child, and then she got bogged down trying to defend her accusation.

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