Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:49pm

<<>>

Blame the swing?

<<>>

You saying she is in way over her head is an assumption so I wont go there. I agree she should have been able to get the baby to sleep. However in order to get that baby to sleep she needed the swing the parents use. I dont see what the big deal is and why the parents wouldnt provide it.

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Why are you expecting a dcp to be able to do something that the parents couldnt tackle? If the parents cant manage to get the baby to sleep without the swing why would they or anyone else expect this dcp to do it? I have yet to get an answer to this question.

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But that isnt what she said. She said that other option was holding the baby. This is something she was unwilling to do. I myself dont blame her for that.

As for the rest of your post it is not really a part of the debate so I will refrain from answering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:53pm

Let me flip this for you. What if these parents dropped off the baby and the baby was able to be laid down to sleep without any help. This DCP decided to hold this baby or put the baby in a swing to sleep every single time she napped every single day. Thus making it difficult for the baby to rest at home. What would you say then? You say you nursed to get the baby to sleep. What if your DCP decided to put the baby down with a bottle propped in her mouth? Would that be acceptable to you? I mean hey... she sleep trained them right?

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I am not telling you to change how you put your kids to bed. Why would I care?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:55pm
What I find hilarious is that you keep saying that babies don't get used to anything yet you just stated that your babies would only sleep with you when you nursed them. If they dont get used to anything than how can you say that this was the only way you could get them to sleep? I mean they arent used to it so why not just lay them down? They should do just fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:56pm
Would you let this dead horse lie? She admitted that she was wrong. Ugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:58pm
Your kidding right? Your post had nothing to do with whether or not parents have to WOH or not. It was about bad dc and leaving children there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:59pm
You wonder why people say that daycares raise children? I totally disagree with you here. To not address the good and the bad during the day at school is ridiculous. Didnt you praise your child when he/she was potty training and your dcp give you notes saying that he/she pottied that day?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 10:22pm
Again I fnd what you are saying to be interesting. It was YOU that said that babies dont get used to anything. Yet now your babies knew exactly what to expect from multiple people. That is really interesting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 3:52am

Yanno, I don't know if the poster is licensed or what but in my state it is illegal for a child to sleep in a car seat or in a swing. In fact, the regulation stipulates, reclined rest, specifically. Swings and car seats are not designed for sleep, even if they are what parents deem as appropriate for their children in their homes. When the child is in a dc setting there are certain things that need to be taken into consideration. The child's parents don't need to feel as if the poster was giving inferior care nor do any of you. She seems to have addressed the problems she was having with the parents and they didn't rectify the situation at home by helping their child become adjusted to a better pattern of sleeping so the poster did what was necessary so she could keep the other two children satisfied.

How hard to have to sleep and play where another child is continually unhappy. It's nerve racking to see a child in such need and not be able to accommodate them or console them for any length of time. The poster did the correct thing to allow the parents the opportunity to find other care for their child. Perhaps the child did need one on one care. That isn't a fault of hockeymom. That's the parent's responsibility to know their child well enough to be able to learn what their child needs at different stages in their life. Not saying it is easy, but it is still their job. Perhaps the child wanted his/her mama and no one else would do.

hmmmm........

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 3:57am

when mucus in the nose or out of the throat turns green it IS an indicator of illness/infection. any doctor would tell you that.

Allergies cause a nose, eyes and throat to run clear, only.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:09am

again, it is illegal in my state for a child to rest or sleep in a swing. having had 5 children and one born into this world with breathing problems, i know that there are other ways to create the incline a baby would need in order to rest without using a swing or a car seat. I did it for my child and many others in my care over the years.

If I had had a child in a car seat or swing when my counselor arrived, I'd have had a write up and possible sanction placed against me by the state.

There was a post consisting of the words saying that it was the problem of the dcp and she shouldn't place it over on the parents but I object to that line of thinking. The child's care is very much the responsibility of the parent even more than it is of the dcp. On this board it has been stated over and over again how the dcp's are NOT raising children yet that poster insists that the parents have no responsibility due to the service being offered. Your best dcp's will make sure the parents help in the dc situation to the fullest extent. It's not a walk in the park to put a child in dc. Neither is it a walk in the park to do the caring for the children in a quality situation. It requires some toe stepping to occur and some pride snuffing and some reasoning together for the sake of the child on all parts. The trick is for the parents to be involved as much as possible in the care situation. In my situation, I told the parents up front that I didn't work for them but for the child. I told them and it was in my written contract. I had such low turnover and people who constantly asked for an opening that when I opened my centers, I had two facilities full with a waiting list before my opening day.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

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