Why do some parents have to be so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Why do some parents have to be so
1221
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:51pm
ridiculously difficult. I am a SAHM that decided this year I would watch a couple of children to make some extra money. I have lurked on this board a lot and notice quite a few WOHM here. I just stopped watching this one baby that I just couldn't figure out the parents. The baby was a mess all the time. She was sick, had multiple respiratory problems, and cried all the time. Every time I called the parents to pick the baby up due to wheezing, or fever they seemed annoyed with me. Which I thought was odd. I have a strict policy that if the children have green noses they must go home. Also if the children have a fever they must go home and not return for 24 hours after the fever has broken or on antibiotics. Well I could never figure out why the baby cried so much until I was talking to the mother. Apparently they allow this baby to sit in a swing in the evenings and on weekends to get her to sleep. So the only time this baby naps during the day on the weekends is in a swing. Well that is not going to happen here. The baby is almost 20 lbs and I am not purchasing a swing for this child to sleep in. So according to the mother this child goes home around 5:30 or 6pm and sleeps from 6:30 until 6:30 the next day. No wonder...she won't nap here. So I told the mother that if I couldn't get the baby to nap during the day then I would no longer be keeping this baby. Well I guess she didn't believe me and I gave these parents a 1 week notice. I can't imagine having my baby that I haven't seen all day sleep a half hour after I got home and sleep until the next morning. I have tried for 4 months to get this baby on a schedule. When the other 2 children I have take their nap this child screams and screams. Just weird to me that a parent would want this for their child.

   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:19am

Well, I wasn't the type to say it had to be done by a certain age or whatnot. I simply wanted some cooperation. I got it. It's not as if I just out and said this after only a day. It was after repeated discussions about it and their repeatedly telling me they were doing what they needed to do at home to aide the situation when in fact, they weren't.

We laugh about it now. It's no big deal now but then, it was hard for their son. He is who it was difficult for. He would walk around holding himself because he was unsure about what he should do. At home he could just go in his diaper or pullup. At my home, I took him potty. But he would be confused in the morning until he grew accustomed to the situation all over again. It was difficult to see him like that. The deal wasn't that he couldn't control his functions at my home. He did exceptionally well. The deal was putting him into a diaper at his age when he was perfectly capable of going if they took the time to help him go and do it was not good for him and he was my primary concern.

It is so much easier to potty train several children all at once or when you have those who potty b/c the youngers who are learning, see the concept in action by their peers. Same for brushing teeth and washing of hands. I miss my pre school sometimes......

oh, back to reality.........poof! not!

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:21am

You don't NEED to say "the entire week"; "the week" MEANS all 7 days. If it didn't, week wouldn't be the term we use to refer to them. If you say, 'I don't have kids this week" you have only yourself to blame if people assume you actually meant it.

Of what import is there to add to a thread the veracity of which is now highly questionable?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:22am

When you can write a post about people who actually exist and events that actually happened, I promise to add posts of great worth. In the meantime, while there is a time and place for fiction, this isn't it, so I see no particular reason to add to it.

Edited to add:I have fewer than 2 dozen posts in this thread. I hardly think my participation here is excessive. The fact that you don't LIKE my posts is hardly relevant.




Edited 2/13/2007 5:11 am ET by cdmamnyell
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:22am

I read the side to side thing days ago......

You are sooo patient with the people here. I admire you.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:25am

But from what you've posted, I'm not so sure you did the best you could. >>>>>

Oh no you didn't..........

BLECH!

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:30am

It's not the same when the children are not your own. When they are dc children there are standards for their safety taken into consideration to protect the provider and the children.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:38am

didn't you say that dcp's don't raise children?

I can't believe people keep on at this lady. She did her very best, despite what anyone says here. I hear her desperation for understanding. She came to ask from the working ladies here what they do to help in situations like this and all ppl have given her is grief.

DCP's do, in fact, raise children. If this attitude is any indication of what most parents think wrt to their children and the dc situation then it proves my point, explicitly.

Have any of you ever cared for children in any capacity? It's an awesome experience, not to mention a very daunting responsibility. Both and more all rolled into a not so neat package.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 4:58am

"I am A SAHM who decided this year to watch some children to make some extra money."

That is a quote from your very own original post. It looks to me like you are precisely the sort of home dc provider who opened a home daycare just to make a buck.>>>>>>

OMgoodness. It looks nothing of the sort. It looks like she needed to make some extra money but wanted to stay home with her children and fell back on something she feels confident in doing in order to make the extra income. Isn't that what wohm's do? They usually try to do something they are halfway decent at to make their extra income? Is it right to suggest something like this about another human being without any cause?

And discovered quite by accident that it is hard work.>>>>>

NO, she found out that there are parents who are unwilling to help their own child adjust to not being at home. It is their responsibility to do so since they are supposed to be raising the child, isn't it? Anyone who has children already know it's not a walk in the park. Your statement is soooo unfounded and plainly unjustified at best.

Now you want to cherry pick your clients in the hopes of only having easy babies.>>>>>

Of course she is, and people who do woh should hope that people like her do cherry pick their clients so that their children get the best of quality care they can possibly receive. The great thing about owning your own business is that you have the luxury to make sure the clients one brings into their business are the ones who will help make their work the most enjoyable and fulfilling. Hard to do in a 9-5 office job working under Joe Schmoe or Susie Whatshername. She is the owner of her business. She has that perogative. (sp). Working people should be so lucky to have women like her who know the limitations of a business relationship as opposed to the quality of the care received by the other children, not to mention her ability to keep her sanity........lol.

(After originally posting that you decided "this year" to do this, you won't be able to suddebly claim that you have a long client history and this is the first time a problem came up.)>>>>>>

She would be able to suitably fill her spot since she knows just what she is and isn't looking for having taken care of this child and worked with those parents. She will likely have friends or parents sing her praises for having protected her ability to give quality care by letting go of a child who created an environment which wasn't conducive to such. Parents who want quality care can see that she didn't do it because it was too hard but because she could see all the children in her care were suffering...most especially the child at topic. As we see, from subsequent posts, the child is peacefully sleeping now that she has her swing at her nana's home.

Since dc is often a seller's market, you can get away with this. >>>>>>>

What exactly does that mean? A quality care provider is not something all parents can spot right off, I assure you of that. However, those in the business, know all too well who is and who isn't of the top grade. When I didn't have space, I only referred children to two other home providers and one facility. Hockeymom couldn't get away with anything wrt her quality. That becomes rather apparent in a short order to any perceptive parent.

But "making a buck" is purely what it is, since you want to get rid of a baby that actually is work.>>>>>>>>>

Again, have you ever cared for children? Difficult children? EAsy children? Tell us of your work experiences with early childhood education.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 5:08am

<> No. They. Don't. I have NO idea why this is such a difficult thing for MSAHMS to understand. How in the world could 40 hours per week, POSSIBLY transcend the 128 HOURS per week that the child is at HOME with FAMILY? How can dcp raise children when, in fact, they make NO major decisions about anything that happens to the child (except when the child is in their care AND generally with the approval of the parent)? How can the dcp be raising children for whom they are not responsible for in ANY way beyond that 40 hour per week service?

Each time I hear this I shudder that people actually believe this garbage.

My nanny would be the FIRST one to be shocked to find out that she is "raising" my kids -- I think the two that she has are enough for her, LOL!

Sheer lunacy.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 5:11am

The problem you may be having is that the state usually has regs that prevent a provider from just "putting" children into "swings and seats". Quality dcp's offer good care and that means holding, cuddling, holding the baby while feeding (no propping), one on one play, activities for development, etc. When I had my child care, I took care of many infants along with the pre-schoolers. I had to have an activity chart available and posted at my entrance for the age groups I cared for. I made my own curriculum for the pre-schoolers and the activity schedule I had for the infants couldn't be something I didn't do either. It couldn't just be for show as I saw was evident in some places I visited. I had an employee. We did what we posted we were doing. My employee was in charge of making up the infant activity schedule and I provided her with the criteria it had to meet and I had to approve it. She made a new one each week and we followed it. We had to make a new one....children grow and develop. We would find new things to do. I was the president of our dcp's association in my town and we had an idea exchange regularly. It was great!

Even little infants need activities. As parents we don't often provide that for our own children but there is a different standard held for dcp's wrt all children. All in the name of the children. As it should be.

I don't agree with some things about state regulations but I always made sure I was in complete compliance. I knew the state had the best interest of the children at heart when creating them. So did I.

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

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